summary

bleh.
not really in the mood to blog.
so i shall just simply summarize what i have to say for yesterday and today.
so that ps wont call me to update when i fail to blog once or twice.
haha.

wednesday. as usual tutored.
but sigh. one student always cancel the tuition last minute.
sometimes i feel like i am wasting my time at ang mo kio.
but well. this time she's coming over on sunday morn.
phew. at least i dont have to spend money travelling again.
with the fare hike i can really kill myself for travelling around so often.
i dont want my pay to go mostly to transport fees.
i will cry.
haha. nah. i dont cry that easily. i'll just whine until so many people are irritated.
bleh.
got home and bumped into mum, sis and ying.
then end up travelling with them to tampines to attend a funeral.
sigh. kind of reminds me of dad's funeral years back.
time passes but the memories of things just come back. sadly.
no matter how hard i try to cast aside things that most probably stir my emotions and cause me to really feel down, i just cant do it. sigh.
useless? i suppose so. helpless? maybe.

today.
worked.
just that i woke up before 10. kind of a miracle. cos i usually dont when there's really nothing to do.
it has been that way for the past 7 months. haha. so yea.
once in a while i perform some miracle i guess. bleh. (how thick-skinned)
so yea. i woke up. packed my drawer of clothes. so now they are more neatly arranged.
also dumped a little stuff from my study table. so it's slightly better than before.
also ironed clothes. finally really help out a wee bit with housework.
gosh i have been a lazy bum and yet i still want to laze around more.
bleh.
but yea. i ironed like a few shirts. bleh. how very little. but i did sthg.
after that slacked around.
went to work and then came back.
working is boring life. but well. money is a strong incentive.

and ps got her hair rebonded. haha.
a little weird to see her with really straight hair.
kind of not used to that.
but yea. rebonded hair usually look neater.
so i guess i can say ps looks prettier now.
argh. i also want to do sthg about my hair. at least do sthg to my hair.
but. argh. why is my hair growing at such a slow rate.
irritating.
never mind. i shall be patient and not pull my hair out.
bleh.

ok. enough rubbish. out of here.

bleh. sick.

sick of working.
haha. how dumb right?
i was sick of rotting at home with no income.
now i am sick of working.
sigh. i get super sian easily. eeps. bad.
but well. i am trying very hard to pyscho myself that it's gonna only be one more month.
oh how much i look forward to school start.
hehe. typical geek.

anyway. today my turn to accompany ps to the medical centre.
kind of dumb to make 2 trips down on 2 consecutive days. but well.
what's done cannot be undone.
i'm so wasting money on travelling but sigh.
broke already. it doesnt really make a lot of diff when you are broke and more broke.
cos. the thing is. still broke.

after that. went to funan cos ps wanted to cut hair at kimage.
sadly, the time slots were taken up. only had a free slot at 3.
and since i've got to go off to work, so she didnt want to take up the 3 pm slot.
made an arrangement for thurs morn.
then walked around funan. wanted to see laptops.
but well. 2 people with limited computer knowledge. sigh.
no point.
haha. then end up in coffee bean.
my fav fav place.
hehe. pampered myself with ice blended pure chocolate again.
how highly sinful.

then after that went to town.
dropped by at heeren's. bought ankle socks.
like finally. haha. i can stop the disappearing acts of my socks. hehe.

then work. now. ok. i get bored easily at work.
but well. i'm ok.
i'm just sick of rushing around. like for monday and today.
travelled so much. kind of rather sian of shopping. cos there are things that i want to get. yet. broke.
sigh. but well. i guess i should really give myself space.
argh.

and i realised. i screwed up things again.
haha. gonna have to check my student email acc. i forgot the change things and they might block up my acc. sigh. give me luck man.

an apple a day keeps the doctor away

havent been eating apples. haha.
so cant send the doctor away?
haha. went for medical check up today.
school's starting.
haha. like... finally.
soon soon.

had a hard time finding that place.
considering the fact that i had a map with me.
and ps sprained her ankle worsening her old injury cos she didnt see the step.
at another spot. i tripped and almost fell.
but yea. all's fine. i didnt break my 2 front teeth.
sigh. i wonder how we are going to survive uni life without getting into such accidents.
accident prone zhien. haha. how's that for uni newsletter?
i'm going to be famous man!

after that went to a clinic in jp for the x-ray thing.
then of course. done with all the crap.
yay. walked around jp a little.
eat kfc. 2 piece chicken.
my oh my. like how long since i have tasted their fried chicken.
hehe. but it's ok only la. isnt really like heavenly.

then went to levi's. had previously saw this top that i find nice.
wanted to show ps. but couldnt find it there.
sigh. i most prob cant afford to get it even if i find it also.
sigh. now i am so tempted to buy myself a pair of comfy levi's jeans.
they are so so so so so ex. in my opinion.
haha. i'm mad.

then bought myself a denim skirt at bum. offer.
hehe. one of the cheapest skirt that i have got le.

then went to town. stopped by mango which was having a crazy sale.
wanted to see if i can get jeans. but yea. cant get the right size. and the queue at the fitting room is crazy.
wanted to get that overalls that i saw and liked the last time. cos it's at half price. but.
argh. i cant find the right size!
how unlucky. but well. i'm broke enough.
haha. maybe it's like one way to make me less broke. that's why the sizes that i want to get disappears?!?

after that went to work.
haha. was thinking at work. then gradually. i dont feel like buying jeans anymore.
haha. i guess i managed to come to terms that i shouldnt be spending so much since i am already like kind of broke.
so yea. i gonna have to really tighten my wallet.
hehe. shall just forget about getting so much stuff.
goodbye to the nike bag, jeans, overalls... for now.
haha. wait till i am less broke.

bleh. i'm tired. gonna have to catch enough sleep or else i cant wake up again today.

zhien is a happy girl for now.
trying to be contented with what i have.
being contented one step closer to being happy. :)

reminiscence

looking back.
jc class had lunch at ghim moh.
i was late. haha. woke up at the supposed meeting time.
luckily ghim moh is nearby.
seems like so long since a group of us sit down and have lunch at ghim moh.
yeap. and ghim moh food is as nice as ever.
maybe it's the crowd you are with?!

after that walked to old campus.
was standing outside at the main gate. staring that the "attention all rafflesians" sign.
haha. nus high school didnt even bother to change that sign.
was wondering if we should climb over. then james suddenly was meddling at the side.
and the gate at the side just opened. haha. so cool.
and we walked straight into our old campus.
haha. then went to concourse. there was a security guard there which stopped us.
and yea. talked to him saying that we want to walk around the school.
lol. lucky that guy isnt that fierce. or else we'll most probably be chased out.
walked along the first level only. sigh. our school is sadly no longer our school.
notice boards have changed. the ts-es are caged up. lockers arent around.
the canteen has lesser stalls already. the benches in the canteen were also reduced.
looks a little different. feels a little different.
places change and people change maybe. that's part of life.

then after that walked to secret recipes.
shared cheesecake. had ice chocolate. hehe. highly sinful.
then lindy shared with us her photos from the india trip.
sigh. i feel like just going on a trip. anywhere.
sadly. money is some problem.
nothing else that i can really do except look forward to year end. hehe.
shall plan a trip somehow.
christmas overseas seems fun. hmmm. haha. thinking way too far.

after that we stopped by the playground nearby.
haha. how silly. 7 people who are 19 year old already playing there.
yea. but it's a really funky playground. got some structure that i was really totally amazed about.
haha. take a look at that man.

something like a skateboarding thing. i really wonder how to swing that high. then some caucasian children played there just before we left. i was so amazed. *drop jaws*

so we played there for some time. and yea. was on the swing.
then i fell off the swing.
lol. how dumb.
so long nvr play. get clumsy with things like that i guess.
haha. but yea i was careless la.
but it's really dumb and embarrassing.
well. it's normal that i do such things.
haha.

after that walked all the way to holland v.
a slow and long walk.
but yea. good exercise after eating.
haha.
then after that parted ways.
took bus to town.

bought stuff at popular.
crap the queue so long.
haha. then i spent like 40 bucks on stationery.
how splurging la.
but yea. i bought kind of a lot of stuff for school use.
afterall i gonna start school in a month.
why waste the gift certificate. haha.
only 1 plus bucks is spent on for my sis. the rest. MY stuff.
haha. stupid right.

then went to taka.
shopped around again.
and spent money again.
lol. this is such a waste of time and money.

after that came home.
now i so tired.
sigh. dont know why but my head hurts.
eeee. cant think properly liao. haha. my brain cells dying?
haha. crap.
nvr mind. i had an enjoyable day. so i'm happy. :)

sleep-over

girl's night in!
haha. last night spent the night at jiaying's place with a group of the jc class girls.
so we met at like 9 over at her place. then spent time singing karaoke at her place.
her house is still as splendid. the last time we went we had a great time too.
very comfortable and just sang and sang.
and of course we get to see so much of jay with the upcoming initial d stuff that she has.
haha.
really fun.

and so we sang quite a lot of songs.
went looking at jay's mv. then went crazy over wilbur's bi hu man bu.
then laugh at those old silly mvs.
haha.
and surprisingly the whole bunch of girls didnt even sing a song from stefanie sun at all the whole time.
we usually would at least have one even if it's going kbox i guess.
haha.

then after that watched recorded version of wan quan yu le.
laughed and laughed at how dumb the whole gang of them were.
haha.

then at around 3 plus. light's out.
then yea. we stayed up to chit chat.
girls' talk.
haha. so much la.
we talked about so much.
describing our "ideal" guy, things that happened for those with siblings, crushes, blah blah blah.
so much so much. and now they know how horrid i was in primary school.
haha. the really "cannot make it" spoilt brat me.
haha. but yea we had a good time.

i didnt sleep at all. how funny la. then end up very tired.
but yea. we went for breakfast.
ate this super nice prawn mee. with super big prawns.
then walked back to jiaying's place.
her parents gave me a lift to the mrt.
and yea. was supposed to go for abt class. but sis nvr go cos she not feeling very well still.
then i see that it was raining and plus i was so tired. i conveniently gave myself an excuse to skip class. haha. dumb right? pay money and yet i skip the class.
bleh. highly unfit.

then go home slept. woke up like in a shock.
cos my tuition student came.
planned to wake up before that but i didnt. haha. so embarrassing.
end up after tuition i slept again.
but thank goodness i slept before tuition. so i was alert while tutoring.

after that went town with sis. spent on food.
munch munch.
then came back with mum after work.

yeap. i finally got some fun.
but sigh. didnt get to catch initial d on friday in the day. but still all is good.
i can still catch it another day. i will. i have to. hehe.

with great anticipation

hehe. like finally!
naruto ep 140.
oolala.
haha. one week to get this ep.
but yea. i just finished it.
sigh. another one week's wait.
i am dying to know the story.
trying to ask around for the manga cos it's way ahead of the anime.
but nonetheless. yippeeeeee. i am happy.

been up early since 6 am in the morn. sadly.
cos sis was unwell. and yeap made quite a fuss.
so i was awaken and i really couldnt get back to sleep.
end up. watch anime.
haha.
so i have been watching quite a few eps of full metal alchemist.
down with 40. 12 more to go to finish the whole anime.
omg.
haha. i am how crazy.
but well. all these animes are the only things that keep me entertained as i rot at home.

should be going out later. girls organising stay-over.
i hope it doesnt get cancelled. :)
looking forward to loads of fun!

off to watch more anime. i couldnt supress my joy over getting ep 140.
that's why i anyhow blogged an entry down. lol.
mad? i think i am.

ding dong bell

cant think of a title. again. as usual. whatever.

today's my last day at suntec branch.
haha. gonna get transferred back to taka next week onwards.
haha. so dumb. bet they find me too troublesome liao.
send me back to some place that i'm more familiar with better.
haha. so i'll be back working at taka for the next one month before i say byebye to them again.
dumb.
but well. i gonna miss that fun coffee machine!
eeeeks. i want to buy one when i have my own house next time. haha.
then everyday can play with it. but the thought of cleaning it kills me at times.
i dont have to clean it when at work cos the auntie there will do the cleaning.
sigh. can i have an auto- cleaning coffee machine?

slept so much today. 12 hours straight.
thanks to ying or else i will really be late for work.
seriously. it'll be very dumb to tell the person there that i'm late for work cos i overslept and i start work at 4 pm?
haha. so yea. good to have someone around right?

ding dong bell, pussy's in the well...
who put her in?
... forgot liao....
i'm bored!
bleah.

replaced

didnt sleep a wink the last night.
was up watching anime till 3 plus.
so i end up convincing myself that i might as well continue more eps.
cos if i go sleep i most prob wont be able to wake up on time to tutor in the morn.

so went jogging at 7 plus in the morn.
realised that my stamina really deproved with the skipping of my jogging schedule.
highly unfit.
bleah.
after that was really worn out.
how dumb la.

then i fell asleep on the sofa with the tv on. thank goodness.
cos the sound of the tv woke me up so that i wasnt too late for tuition.
then went tutoring earlier today.

so i was dozing off like on the train, on the bus. bleah.
one thing bad about having stayed up the night huh.

after that went paragon to get new sim card.
sticking to the original number.
those who read this. sms me to let me know your numbers ok?
my contact list is so gone gone.
now using my sis' old phone that i cant really operate.
sigh. contemplating getting a new phone. dont really want to spend that kind of money. argh.

stupid.

always a first?

hmm.
for the first time in my entire life.
i lost my phone.
sigh. it got stolen. sob sob.
want to cry also cannot cry.
tears just wont come so easily to me huh?
i cry only when really heart-broken (sim tia).
sigh. stupid la.
my contact list.
since that day ps lost her phone i already told myself i ought to really make a copy of my contact list.
but being a super procrastinator. it hasnt been done.
and i lost my phone. there goes.

gonna have to get it replaced.
and have to pay 25 bucks! omg.
sigh. i hate that thief. use the phone all you want.
it's just some dumb phone that is so "no function".
give me the sim card la.
waste my hard-earned money leh.
stupid person.
better dont let me see that person again.
i'll make that person crawl. k that person until like shit.
gave me all the trouble.
argh.

i feel like i need to rant more.
but yea. it just cant really help make me feel any better.
i dont think i have a good phone to replace the lost one at the moment.
which means i have to spend money again to get one. damn sad.
sigh. i really hate to have to waste such unnecessary money.
i am totally like. sigh. dont know what to say la.
ps was saying. she felt like crying when she lost hers.
and she was commenting i could still laugh.
was telling her. under such situations, there's only 2 options. to laugh or to cry.
and since i dont cry and cant cry so easily over a phone.
i just laugh. really. i just laugh but that doesnt really mean i am celebrating over its loss.
how dumb isnt it?
i feel stupid. to allow my phone to be stolen like that.

anyway. other than that. everything else is perfectly fine.
was out with ps today. went with her to her school to get cert.
then cab to town. shopped around with her and yvonne.
then after that we went shopping around when yvonne left.
got some storage boxes planned for hostel use.
then bought a top from giordano.
after that went to u2 wanted to buy stuff but yea. not available. sian.
met sher after that.
and then that fateful event.
then dinner at billy bombers. how sad also must eat.
so yea. settled dinner.
then shopped around somemore.

gradually got more sian.
i'm the kind that have slow reaction i guess.
the sian-ness of having lost my phone sets in only after some time.
sigh.
now can only keep sighing and doing nothing else.
sigh. sigh. sigh. argh.
curses. that person.

ok. conclusion. i very buay song. very unhappy.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i need to vent on something.
any suggestions?

dreaming of you

a dream that will come true is not a real dream.
a translation of what is said in the anime full metal alchemist.
saw it today while i was watching the anime.
indeed a thought-provoking phrase.
what is a definition of a dream?

often, i have asked myself.
what are dreams? what is the purpose of dreaming?
indeed, scientific research has tried to look into this matter and find an answer to it.
but as yet. the answer is unknown.

today. i woke up.
with a dream that i remembered certain bits of what happened.
in fact i feel as if it's 2 dreams.
cos there were 2 different settings, many different people that appeared.
and there was a gap in between the 2 scenarios which i couldnt figure out what happened in between that linked the 2 things up.
so there was a space. a space in between that made me felt as if i woke up during that gap.
i didnt i know. cos it's a usual habit of mine to check the time on my hp whenever i wake up.
to make sure it isnt too early to get out of bed.
what happened in the 2 dreams. i saw people.
the main people are those who i deem important to me.
of course there were other people, even people i dont recall seeing before.

each time i wake up. remembering what i dreamt of.
i ask myself. what's the reason for me remembering them.
there are times i forget what i dreamt of. they just fade away.
yet. each time i remember clearly certain parts of the dream and not the whole.
i wake up puzzled.
really. i ask myself why am i remembering them.
is it cos i have thought too much into these things, thought too much of these people that they appear in my mind. subconsciously?
a chinese saying goes, ri you suo si ye you suo meng.
is it so?
then again, there are analysis that go. dreams may be prophecies of what will happen.
yet again, there are sayings that dreams are the direct opposite reflection of what will happen.
my dreams, what are they? which classification do they belong to?
or are they just mere nothings.

sometimes, i hate it. hate it when i think so much into things.
for goodness sake, it's just a dream.
it just seems so stupid and dumb to be reacting this way to my dreams.
i hate to have to feel that way. feeling stupid, puzzled, confused and lost.
i seek answers. i dont want to have to say "i dont know" all the time.
i hate that. i cant stand myself not knowing.
cos it only strands me in a corner not being able to see the light of things.
if my dreams leaves me in such horrid situations, i rather not have dreams.

a dream that will come true is not a real dream.
is that why my dreams never once come true?

wth?!

i am not happy.
damn it.
working. argh.
it's not the nature of the job that's pissing me off.
but argh. just too much.
i feel totally crapped.
it's screwing up my planned schedule.
today is the 3rd time i am like informed at the last minute.
10 plus pm to inform me that i have to work the next day.
oh come on la. i already assumed that i dont have to work and made plans already la.
shit this.
really. i mean i can work. but please dont give me this kind of rubbish.
i really hate this.
seriously. sigh.
freaks.

just fire me la.
i'm more than happy if it's gonna be this kind of screwed way of letting me know when i have to work.
super inconsistent and last minute.
i'm not some reservist. not some maid at the beck of their call. argh.

gibberish

recently really bad at coming up with a proper title.
messy and boring life is like that huh?
cant really figure out what is the main thing that haps each day that's worth taking up the title space.

anyway. came up with this new blogskin.
did it very simply.
really running out of ideas to do.
just felt like changing.
hmm. people do keep changing anyway.
new blogskin. another new me?
sounds like some snake that keeps shedding its skin.
haha.

last night watched naruto movie version.
one hour plus of naruto.
nice despite the fact that the story plot sounds as if it's way off with princess, actress and ninja coming together.
but still. the main thing that i really like about naruto is the way it shows the idea of not giving up.
as usual, naruto's determination will influence the people around him to not give up on certain things in life.
if only i am such a blessing too. it seems kind of silly to think so much over an anime.
but yea. i feel like i want to have this ability to simply make people feel better even though it might make me look silly.
and yeap. the movie ending song is really nice. home sweet home by yuki.
now listening to it and although it's in japanese, which means the meaning cant really be figured out.
i can always see the movie thing again and look at their translation. :)

just woke up.
so i have effectively just wasted 12 hours of today.
most prob gonna rot the next 12 hours away too.
might go to my grandma's place. but yea. i am one lazy bum.
i might not go still.
argh. sundays are becoming crappy.

where the fun begins

cant really think of a title.
anyhow came up with one la.
sounds like some catchy slogan that some place would use?
haha.

another story of mine.
haha.
saturday.
morn as usual, abt class.
kind of good workout.
hope i am really getting healthier. :)

after that tutored.
then went down to aunt's place.
tong tong is so cute!
and so sad. she now looks so skinny.
cos of the hfm disease. according to my aunt days back tongtong was so ill that she cant really eat.
sigh. poor little thing.
but yea. she's as usual that hyper and cheerful.
really a sweet little girl.
very adorable.
she was whining so much when it's time to take medicine.
so funny. my aunt says she always does that. haha.
but yea. still she's so adorable.
really had fun playing with her.
cos she's like so cute and she's so active.
hope she gets well soon.
and my aunt of cos. she's like so worn out. sigh.
that's one thing about having children isnt it?

finally done with watching all 139 eps of naruto.
haha. now the only thing i can do is to watch other anime.
as i anticipate the new ep that comes out every thurs.

too bad it's friday

bleh. friday. one more week down.
that means. one week closer to school reopen for most people. the last week.
yet. I AM STILL NOT IN SCHOOL.
this is the 3rd time i am seeing ying having school starting, yet.
the same old me is still rotting at home. argh.

anyway.
today.
started off waking up early in the morning.
not really very early.
but earlier than my usual.
so woke up at 9.15 am.
then got ready to go ps's house.
me, sis and ps went swimming.
like finally got the chance to.
15 laps or so. kind of little. but will try to gradually increase.
it was raining halfway while we swam. so end up cant really get tanned.
but yeap. it's good exercise still.

after that got home.
got ready to go down for tuition.
ang mo kio again.
super sian.
but yea. tutored.
kind of dragged on the lesson for more than half an hour la. should charge extra. damn.
haha. cos she do the questions so slowly. eeps.
after that shopped around amk central. bought conditioner for my hair. damn it. waste money again.
but yea. before my hair turns to hay. i better do sthg.

after that got home.
and sadly, my cousin's down with HFM disease. so sad. she's such a cute little thing.
i'm gonna go down tmr to my aunt's place and keep her company.

yeap. friday. nothing much again.
i'm off to watch naruto!
haha. i'm catching up with it so fast. :)

employed

yeap. back to employed status.

about 3 weeks ago left my workplace of 3 plus years.
now i'm back there.
but just at another outlet.
today started work.
cant really stand rotting. so yea. working is good too.
a new place with new things to play with.
so it isnt really that boring afterall.
i guess money is really a huge incentive.
ps came over to say hi at my workplace.
sis came to meet me after work.
was craving for pasta during work and sis was so nice to meet me and have dinner after work.
so had creamy chicken pasta at pastamania!
i'm happy!
after that shopped around a little.
eeks. so many things that i feel like buying but i feel really broke.
sigh.

was supposed to wake up early today to go gym with sis.
but end up. i couldnt wake up on time.
luckily ying's hp rang or else i'll most prob be late for work too.
so end up sis go alone when i went for work.
sigh. i feel so unfit.
one big lazy bum.

took passport size photo at a photo place near my workplace there.
turn out quite sucky.
argh.
my complexion. damn it.
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i've got super lots of complaints and yea. i need money.

clothes, facial products, loads of gadgets. i want to buy.
saving up.
arghhhhhh.

can money fall from the sky?
eh. just above my head. benefit me can already. hehe.

loads of thoughts

kind of having quite a few thoughts.
thoughts of my own that just suddenly jumped into my mind.
and of course thoughts that came across when i read blogs.

- taking things for granted -

there are times when we took things for granted.
personally, i am the kind that most probably take a lot a lot of things for granted.
and yet. i hate to be taken granted for.
how contradicting.
i wonder if the same goes for everyone. or at least most people.
indeed. i really wonder.

i get very pissed with my mum at times.
really. i know this doesnt seem right. but. yea. i get freaking pissed.
like today. some forms that have to be submitted.
she had totally no qualms about asking some uncle to drive down to our place to help get it.
and of course. i knew my task was to be at home and pass to the uncle the forms.
end up. the uncle couldnt come down as he was busy.
and my uncle had to come. and 10 minutes before my uncle reached our place.
he called and say that one of us go along with him so that we'll know how to settle them the next time. i was like "what the hell?" i have to go tutor later. so i asked ying if she can go but she has to study for coming test.
argh. damn damn damn. i really hate this. then i called my mum at her workplace.
i totally just screamed into the phone and scolded her.
i was telling her how much shit she has given me over the forms for the past few days.
then i was complaining that uncle wants us to go together and she said "ya. so that you'll know what to do the next time."
indeed true. nothing wrong.
SO THAT NEXT TIME WE DONT HAVE TO TROUBLE OTHERS.
bet those that helped feel irritated too.
i got freaking pissed when she gave that reply. really. i could feel my blood boiling.
i told her to call uncle and settle it herself. both me and ying dont have that kind of shit time to go down.
then i hung up the phone.
i realised. i am very good at hanging up on the phone.
when i am pissed.
i rant a lot. then i give the person no time to talk. then i say i dont want to talk anymore.
then i hang up.
i did that to my sisters and of course my mum. none of my friends have yet to experience that.
haha.
but well. anyway. this whole thing. i felt my mum was wrong.
yes. sounds really stupid. but yes. i dont think i was wrong for ranting so much.
hanging up the phone definitely was rude. but i didnt think i was wrong.
cos i really somehow have this supressed feeling.
feeling that she takes it for granted when we (my sisters and i) stay at home.
it becomes a MUST to help out with the household chores. cos by the time she comes home it'll be late and if she does all she'll be sleeping so little. so she says.
feeling that she takes it for granted when we (my sisters and i) go out and shop.
it becomes a MUST to help her get the things that she needs if we happen to pass by some supermarket or some place.
feeling that she takes it for granted when we (my sisters and i) have a wee bit of time between our plans.
it becomes a MUST to make use of that small break to rush down and get things settled for her.
(well she just told me to get her sthg from the supermarket after i end work tmr. sigh.)
yes. although she doesnt we MUST. but it is implied. cos she'll question when it's undone.
sigh. i hate it when she has no qualms asking for help from others.
yes indeed it's often taught. whenever in doubt, ask.
asking for help? i feel pai seh even if she doesnt. sigh.
i really wonder how to bring the idea across to her. talking doesnt help i guess.
cos i think my ranting on the phone today had ZERO effect.

any advice?

- love and logic -

took this idea off sis's blog.

Love is the only rational act and love always wins.

How true is this.

You either choose love or logic.

If you choose logic, you won't be with someone because you consider all other factors and eventually, you will feel that there is a possibilty for things not to work and so, you won't be with the person.

If you choose love, you will be with the person you feel right with at that moment in time and let things flow and progress.

how unfortunate.
i am someone who is way too logical.
i guess that's why.

i dont have an answer to such things.
but yea. my logic is that no matter how much in love, there's "rational" and not just "passion".
see? i am logical. ok. that's crap.
but well. i guess i am too mechanised.
really. what else can i say? i am a successful product of this whole education system.
moulded into what they call "student".
produced grades that would classify me under "creme de la creme".
inculcated with values they would label as "dignified", "conservative" and of course "traditional".
how smart can this be?
haha. i am too logical for my own good i think.
it's the way i was born to be.
my brain works that way.
the implication?
it's almost impossible for me to love someone so crazily. like the way they potray in drama.
no matter what i do. there's a limit to it.
above that limit. that's it. i cant take it and i wont take it.
and this means. either i'm going to be single for live (which really doesnt matter cos it might just seem to be the same being single or attached for me).
or the other guy out there must match my level of logical thinking. haha. how sad.

but well. the thing is. to me, no doubt i know everyone hopes of a fairytale love story. or even a fairytale life story. the way ying mentioned in her blog.

give me a wand. i'll make myself and my life the way i want them to be.

if there's such a thing. who doesnt want everything that just seems perfectly nice.
but the thing is. i can never shake off that brain of mine. i think. therefore. my logical mind tells me to be in control.
good or bad?
i really wonder.

but well. life's full of contradictions.
love vs logic is one such. there are many others out there.
it's about finding your own solution out of the contradiction that makes life challenging, maybe.
there's no standard answer. but there's definitely an answer. YOUR OWN ANSWER.
well that's my logic.
for me, now. my answer to things is to account for logic. :) at least i know my answer.

- turn back time -

was discussing with ying over song lyrics.

aqua once have a song that i remember in my head for dont know what reason.

If only I could turn back time,

If only I had saved what I still had.

jay chou has one song that's very nice titled 回到过去 (hui dao guo qu).

想回到过去 试著抱你在怀里

羞怯的脸带有一点稚气

想看你的看的世界, 想在你梦的画面

祇要靠在一起就能感觉甜蜜

想回到过去 试著让故事继续

至少不再让你离我而去

分散时间的注意 这次会抱得更紧

这样挽留不知还来不来得及

想回到过去

indeed. if only. the "if only". at times, i have hoped to turn back time.
in fact, i wish i have the power to turn back time more than i wish i have the power to forget certain things that i would love to forget.

when i used to watch charmed last time. i wished i was piper. then i can stop time.

freezing time and changing whatever i can.

sometimes i look back and really think. how nice it would have been if i can turn back time.

make a decision that i didnt make.

or correct a wrong decision i have made.

or even change the way things are.

i've dropped that foolish thought. although it does surface whenever it comes to mind again.

i know i dont have such a power. and also. i am learning to believe what i said out of my mouth.

i once told sis. the decision you have made might seem bad, but whatever it is. it might just turn out to be the best out of the choices you have.

i am trying to hold on to that. convincing myself that whatever it is. i tried my best.

in fact, the future lies unknown. tomorrow is a mystery.

i dont believe in having great foresight.

nothing can really be predictable. i believe in taking a step at a time. cautious steps.

gigi leung's new album has a song titled 顺时针 (shun shi zhen). which is what ying and i talked about.

我一个人应该可以 想起爱过之前 原来的自己

或许那样的天真我已经回不去

one more thing that this particular song brought me to think of.

more and more i come to understand that it's impossible to turn back time.

cos as humans, we can look back. think back. look and think of going back.

but even if we can, which we cant, we might not be who we were.

people change.

and i know that the now me is so much more different than the me years back.

well, instead of wishing for the power to turn back time. try wishing for the power to prophecise and see things happen even before they happen?

like one character in naruto, nara shikamaru, with an iq of above 200. predict the moves of his enemies in so many different way.

logically, i should wish for a super high iq then. haha. then i'll be able to list down most of the possible things that happen and many many steps after that point in time. that'll make me jump further isnt it?

ok i am not making much sense anymore.

enough of my thoughts that will only make me even more convinced that i think so much to the extend that i am crazily logical. haha.

out of here. ciao.

today is tuesday

argh. cant think of a title.
but well.
today is tuesday. nothing wrong about it either.

supposed to wake up early to go swimming with sis.
afterwhich we'll head for kbox.

but well. things dont always go as planned.
i was busy dating naruto last night. haha.
watched the anime till around 3.
so end up i couldnt wake up at 7.30.
only woke up at 12 plus.
eeps. horrid pig.
anyway. that blew the k box thing cos it's supposed to be 11 to 2.
and yeap. i slept pass it too.

so end up.
we went ikea to look for ideas on how to change our room.
wardrobe. bed. shopping with sis is forever so fun.
she has loads of idea.
so yea. looking forward to getting the room done before school starts.
wish wish. i want a nice room.
also note down some stuff that i can get for hostel.
but well. that'll come after hostel is settled.
gonna have to read through the student handbook and get things done first.
next 7 days or so gonna be crucial.
have deadlines to meet. and i dont have a particular talent at doing that.
hmmm.

had lunch at the ikea restaurant.
really nice.
had 2 fried chicken wings and fries for lunch.
haha. highly unhealthy but it's really delicious.
thanks to sis's introduction.
after that went to shop around anchorpoint.
got myself a new pair of shoes from the bata there.
yea. gonna buy different coloured shoe laces to make my shoe nice nice too.
bloomington is such a cute shop.
haha. once hostel is confirmed i'll start buying interesting things from there to decor the place.
haha. it's gonna be so so so fun.
saw some badges that have really super hilarious comments.
so it was a really interesting shopping experience too.
after that took bus down to town.

shopped a little at orchard.
at first wanted to buy overalls. argh. but the one i saw. run out of the sizes.
left with size s which is how impossible!
argh. sad.
but well. i might just find sthg nice and simple when i shop next time :)
definitely not going to get that mango one. omg. 90 bucks is totally crazy.
haha.
went to fox, u2, op...
didnt get stuff though.
hmm. but now considering to save up some money to buy shorts from op.
and flip flops.
i need some presentable shorts and flip flops.
sigh. gonna have to really plan my expenditure for this month and make full use of the gss.
after that spent 99 bucks on stuff from clinique.
very crazy.
haha. for the first time in my entire life have i done such things.
hopefully they do wonders. :)

so now kind of broke. looking at my expenditure list.
dont seem to have that much money to spend. but well. getting paid soon from tuition.
i hope i have enough.
*clasp my hand and pray really hard*
going on tight budget now! haha. i've got to get what i want.
so yea. suffer a little on other unnecessary ones.

gonna have to catch up more on naruto already.
haha. will have to spend time finishing up my library books before they are due.
so many to do so little time.
but well. who cares? i'm having as much fun as i can. :D

a new beginning

start of the week.
been out of my house today for kind of a rather long time.
haha.
never really have been that way.
but yea. spent time out today.

was out with ps first.
went to catch movie at cineleisure.
watched mr and mrs smith.
wanted to catch the 11 am show.
end up reaching there near 11 and the queue to get tix was so long.
so end up buy for the next show at 12.
went for lunch at long john's before the show starts.
haha. so we were so full before the show that we didnt get snacks.

the movie. mr and mrs smith.
was ok.
in fact. hmm. at some point in time i was kind of bored.
kept yawning.
maybe cos of the lack of sleep also.
but yea. i didnt quite think very well of it as i did.

after that shopped around at heeren's.
we each got a set of bikini at bods bodynits.
ps bought it for me as a bday gift.
hehe. thanks girl. :)

then walked around.
then bought quite a lot of food.
lol. had shaved ice.
had gummy.
had old chang kee chicken nuggets.
had midnight cookies ice-cream from haagen daaz. flavour of the month special!
so that was quite a far bit.

after that went mc cafe for coffee cos we were so tired of walking.
had cappuccino. ps had long black.
hehe. nice coffee drink.
yay! i love coffee.
after that went off to the bus-stop with ps. wait for her to board the bus for work.
just when she left. laihung called me on the phone.

hehe so dont have to roam around alone. just went to meet them even before the arranged time.
so went walking around with meiyi and laihung.
headed for sakae sushi at heerens but they didnt have a table.
so went to cineleisure and see got nice place.
ended up at cafe cartel. ade came joining us shortly.
we ordered 2 main courses and shared.
still very full although we shared.
and yea. the free flow bread at cafe cartel is actually really delicious wor!
haha. i might just go down to delifrance or careffour or wherever to buy french loaf back home to munch.
haha.
after that we shopped around. saw quite a few pieces of really nice clothes. haha.
but didnt buy la. i was kind of carrying a lot of things le.
cos over at dinner the girls passed me the present that they give me.
a really really special bag. hehe.
gonna be cool. i've got more bags to use!
thanks girls!
then went back on train with them.

now going to catch up more eps of naruto.
haha. i am crazy about it already.

anyway. some pics of today at mc cafe.

mc cafe at shaw.

the view from where we were seated.

me and my cappuccino

ps and her long black

boring day.

sigh.
friday saturday never blog only.
now ps asks me to update.
so i shall.

went to a church camp for the past few days.
so people see very little of me.
basically. i am very tired.
friday. played games there and got home very late.
still i managed to keep myself up to catch a few eps of naruto.

saturday morn.
went for abt classes with my sis.
lessons are fun though i cant really catch up most of the time.
sigh.
not born with those aerobics talent.
but well. it's nice workout.
now my muscles are kind of aching.
but it isnt as bad as 2 weeks ago when it was the first lesson.
so hopefully this shows i am fitter?!
haha.
tutored also after getting back.
my cute little student gave me a bracelet as a bday gift.
how sweet. she picked it herself.
interesting little girl.
the little pleasures of being a teacher to someone.
sometimes getting frustrated when she cant do questions, yet smile at the little things she do.
after that got down to go back to church camp.
so was kind of worn out.
but well. during the camp got to experience staying in ntu hostel.
so that's good too.
i can now start planning how i want to design my hostel room!

just got back.
now very tired.
but. die die also want to watch naruto.
haha. yeap.
so i am back from a rather slow moving weekend.
hoping for a good week ahead. :)

happy 19th birthday

yes. happy 19th birthday to myself.
how sad is this. pathetic.
haha.
but yea today is a great day.

slept at 7 am in the morning.
woke up at 10 am.
so effectively i didnt waste a lot of time of today on sleep.
haha.
3 hours of sleep to last me through this day.

started off today with tuition.
rather ok.
after that travelled down to orchard from ang mo kio to meet sis.
walked around. took neoprint.
before having dinner with sis and don at nydc.

yeaps. got a fantastic treat.
had hawaiian oven-baked pasta for main course.
had cookie monster mudpie for dessert number 1.
had nydc celebration sundae for desser number 2.
lol. ultra sinful treat.
and yea. at dinner. sis accidentally spilled water.
and who's the lucky girl?
who else but me. haha. end up the whole cup of water just splashed on me.
lol. lucky it's just plain water.
my first reaction was to scream.
and giving how loud i am. the people around turned to see what hap.
ha, cool. how great....
then the waiter came running with a stack of tissue. hilarious.

after that was thinking of going kbox. but end up nvr go.
thought of playing arcade.
but see cineleisure's arcade. nothing much.
so end up nvr play.
walked around.
then end up going coffee bean for a drink.

slacked around. then went back home.

thanks to those who sms-ed and wished me happy birthday.
thanks to those who gave me presents. really appreciate them.
thanks for those who simply sent me bday wishes in one way or another.
sigh. now older le.

a brand new beginning maybe?

18

last day.
last day as an eighteen year old.
argh.
growing older.
sigh.
dumb.

older = wiser?
then tmr i will be smarter!
cool. maybe i should do an iq test today.
and another tomorrow.
an increase maybe?

finally got down to school to collect my cert.
yes! finally got hold of sthg solid.
the cert.
haha. proof that i have graduated.
the a level exam.
what a nightmare.
well. also got the yearbook.
those were the days.
sigh. gone.
argh.
school was fun.
old campus. run-down yet full of memories.
jc days. stressful yet fulfilling.
lessons. dull yet enriching.

tutored. my student was so nice.
actually got me a present!
how thoughtful.
being a teacher does really gives much satisfaction.
:)

well.
nothing much anymore.
boring days.
hope they come to an end by tmr.

a new beginning maybe.
let's just say.
i wish for a lot of things.
hopefully, they come true.
then i'll be happier.

can i relive the me again?
let's start 18 again, dont move on?
possible? sadly, no.

mad a gas car

put that together and what do you get?
madagascar!
haha.
went to watch the movie with ps today.
cool. very funny.
i like it very much. hmm. the child in me huh?
maybe.
anyway. it's a really cute movie.
dreamworks have nice animation. really funny and yea.
pure entertainment that's really fun.
the music.
really makes you feel like dancing.
i like to move it.
come dance dance.
i was going crazy over the song and kept singing it after the movie.
that irritated ps a bit i guess.
haha.

after that shopped around orchard.
spent some time at beads etc cos ps wanted to get sthg to make bracelets.
after that went taka.
got myself a pair of track pants that's suitable for the aerobics class.
sigh spent money again.
after that bought 2 polo tee from giordano since i have been looking for a collared tee.
and yea. so i spent money again.
argh.
haha.

now i am so in love with that new nike bag.
orange.
damn cool.
looks really really nice.
haha. my next aim.
shall wait till next week and shop for it.
hope my money can last.
hehe.
also wanting to get gigi leung's latest cd cos it's like a compilation of her songs.
nice.
sigh.
too much wants that cant be satisfied.
scarcity.
haha. so long since i touched econs.
eeee.
ok. have so many things to aim for.
hmmm.

a rather simple day.
but yea. enjoyed myself.
now back at home to enjoy more eps of naruto. :)

party weekend

yeap. had a weekend out at the chalet.
aranda country club.
gosh. really nice and big place.
the suite was totally awesome.
haha.
gonna load pics up soon.
have got a rather large collection of them.

checked in rather late for day 1.
5 plus when it's supposedly 2 pm.
cos the auntie that booked the place for us was busy and can only fetch us to the place late.
after that didnt go for dinner.
stayed at the place with ying while sis and aunt went off for dinner.
then slacked around.
snacked. bleh. the whole weekend is spent snacking. gosh.

fri night
got coffee craving.
so went to downtown east cheers to get those bottled starbucks coffee.
sigh. crazy over coffee already.
argh argh.
then went to get fries from macs and popcorn chicken from kfc back to share with the rest of the people.
for fri night.
totally didnt sleep.
omg. i am crazy.
was the only one that stayed up.
spent my time drinking chilled milo, munching on potato chips. bleh.
then watched anime on laptop.
haha. catch up on full metal alchemist ep 1 to 4. naruto 1 to 10.
haha. cool. but they are all so old eps.
then really totally rot my time away alone. how stupid is that.

sat morn
the rest woke up late. damn until like 11.
how stupid was that i totally spent 8 hours alone stoning, watching anime while they slept.
sigh. they wake up say want to go swim.
but they all went and i cant.
how stupid.
gosh how silly that felt la. going to a chalet and feeling like i am alone.
argh.
cos had to go tutoring and will leave the chalet at 12 plus.
i dont even have enough time to go swim with them by the time it was 11.
argh. how damn sad.
then the only amount of sleep i got was dozing off on the train.
in my dreamy condition, i met some silly people that sat down beside me.
first was a lady. that dont know for what reason seems to have to take up more than 1 seat and keeps pushing me to one side of my seat. argh.
then each time she opens her handbag. she'll nudge me unknowingly and then i wake up from my sleep and think to myself. what hap?
next was a little child. that like any other child kneels on the mrt seat.
that active child will then kick me without himself knowing when he moves.
sigh. so i will keep waking up, dozing off, waking up, dozing off.
argh.
45 minutes train journey.
then got home.
tutored.
very tired.
haha. then mum's friend drove us and the relatives to the chalet.
they were like asking me what road, which expressway to take to get to the chalet.
and i was stumped.
for a moment, i was even more convinced that i shouldnt waste the money to learn driving.
my knowledge of the roads of singapore is super low.
most probably will end up a road hazard or some disaster.
all the more i convince myself that i must strive to earn lots of money and hire a chauffeur instead.
haha.

sat evening
party starts.
a lot of sis's friends. the chalet was so packed.
ps was very nice to keep walking around with me. to downtown east to get this get that.
made 3 trips to cheers that night and had 3 encounters with people i classify as jerks or at least un-nice people.
first was when i decided to get ice cream from macs after buying stuff from cheers.
met this guy that was also queueing. the direction of the queue wasnt exactly clear so i just decided that i should stand at one side behind the 2nd person in the queue.
then this man came along. stood on another bhind the same 2nd person in the queue.
and he totally showed no intention to move to queue behind me when i got there before him.
i was so damn pissed that i almost wanted to shout at him and say "uncle! you are supposed to be queueing behind me!" sigh.
but well. end up letting him buy first and i was so damn crapped.
seond was when i went cheers to buy ice.
then i was queueing with 2 packets of ice in the basket.
then this guy came and just right in my face jumped queue. and gave that stupid look on the face.
wah. gosh. when i am freaking pissed. i feel like whacking people. and he really got that kind of "hit me" look on the face.
omg. gosh. pissed pissed. how can such a guy even exist. i totally wanted to tell him it was how ungentlemanly and the thing is i was buying ice.
hello?!? ice can melt if he doesnt know. argh.
third was when i went to buy ice at cheers again.
then the first time went to buy 2 packets the salesperson gave us a big plastic carrier bag which was so big that when i carry by the handle, the 2 bags of ice can appear to be dragged around.
hello. i am not some tall freak. so i learnt the lesson and decided to get the person to pack into 2 separate smaller carrier bags instead.
dont know for what reason, that salesperson was so pissed when that i asked her to do that.
end up. she slammed the bags down after packing it into the plastic bag. i was like "what the hell".
asking for one more plastic bag may not be environmentally friendly. but there is no need for such kind of lousy attitude. omg.
rubbish man.
then after that ate dinner.
buffet was good. my first proper meal of the day.
snacked too much before that.
haha.
then had to like help to get drinks for people. argh. like maid like that.
seriously hate events like this.
no doubt all the fun.
but there's also all the crap.
went to collect ice cream cake for sis from white sands at around 8.30.
then ya. they dont provide knife for ice cream cakes and i didnt know.
end up. they told me need to use stainless steel knife. i went to ntuc and get a knife.
wah with that pissed like on my face i seem like i am buying the knife to attempt to commit murder.
gosh.
when getting back to the chalet, sis's friend had to find a parking lot for the car and so we were driving around the carpark looking for an empty space.
then found one, and saw this guy (the 4th jerk that i saw in one day) running to the empty lot.
parked himself there.
signalled one lorry (how... no comments) to park in that space.
it's how. what the hell la? that guy is total shit.
i mean it's how ridiculous man. then my sis's friend was asking him to move.
and he say they have been waiting for a space for very long already and refused to budge. argh.
damn. should have waved that knife that i bought in his face and ask "are you sure you dont want to move?"
aw man. what kind of crap is this. what kind of society is this in singapore man.
it's like if you have been there long enough. how would your LORRY end up behind our car.
total nonsense and brainless talk. oh man. hate people like that.
super irritating.
sigh. just my luck.
after that. cake cutting for sis.
and she has a huge bunch of friends. so took photos like crazy.
envious.
sigh.
then after that time to cut mine but like erm my friends cant come.
then super pathetic cos cut cake also like rubbish.
i usually dont have a lot of friends to invite so i dont like such functions. seriously.
then was laughing like mad when supposed to take photos with the cake in front.
but tong tong, my little cousin would suddenly just appear and attempt to take the cake.
very hilarious. then my cake is almost very much ruined by the time we are done.
haha.
then after that nothing much except eating and eating.

sat night
after most of the guest have left.
sis's friend, changfeng drove us to changi village in an attempt to spot transversites (hope i spelt this right).
according to sis they saw a lot the night before when they went around that area for supper.
we only saw 1 and i was horrified enough.
a male as a female. what can i say "he?" "she?"
then went back.
slacked around.
cleaned up the place and cleaned myself up too. haha.
after that catched up on some more eps of naruto.
slept at around 3. haha. cannot tahan another day without sleep. i can really collapse.

sunday morn
waked up around 10.
packed up things. had breakfast. then checked out near to 11.
then took a cab home cos there was so much stuff.
then after that unpacked. bathed.
got ready to meet ps to go shopping at bugis.

sunday afternoon
went bugis with ps.
then walked around.
went seiyu, bugis village.
end up
drank pure choc ice blended from coffee bean. ps took caramel. how nice.
shared with ps and got 5 make-up items for 10 bucks cos of some CRAZY sale.
got myself a top from op.
wanted to get a nice collared tee but just cant find one.
argh. sigh. i want to buy more tops.
then walked around but still cant really find anything that's nice.
went to eat at mos burger.
and then sigh. ps lost her phone. argh. how crap. am i some jinx or what? sigh.
crap. i cant even do a thing when she was close to tears.
sigh. me = one blockhead.
sry girl, i should have been more observant then i would have realised you left your phone on the table when we changed seats.
argh.
sigh.

that's basically about it for my 3 days.
nothing much really.
just totally rotted time away.
sigh. useless me.

but. sidenote. thanks to those who have given me my bday gifts. haha. still early.
a few more days and i'll be older.
which means i have wasted more time away. sigh.

blurness

crap.
stunts.
woke up with perfect eyesight. how superbly nice.
simply cos i didnt take off my contact lens before i sleep.
goodness. in a daze or sthg? i am crazy.
i actually did that?!?!
thankfully, my eyes didnt hurt a bit when i woke up.
how cool is that?
haha. but i shall not perform such a stunt again.
and yea. i forgot to charge the digicam for my sis. forgot to change the sd card.
sry girl.
your sister's blurness can get out of hand.

today.
tutored.
a rather fine day.
had dinner out.
with a bunch of really nice people.
got home.

tmr checking in to chalet for sis's bday party.
gonna have a weekend that's hopefully fun.
so i gonna bid goodbye to my comp temporary.
sobs.

yea. payday.
so hopefully i can participate in the gss and get some stuff for uni.

ladies' night

today is just another day that passes in my life.
simple but good.

tutored in the afternoon at ang mo kio as usual.
then cancelled the second tuition.
postponing it to tmr. so this week gonna have to spend the money travelling to amk twice.

cos jc class girls planned a gathering.
a rather good meeting.
reached orchard early so went walking around and got jiaying her bday gift.
then nice timing and got to the meeting place soon enough.

had dinner with the girls at pasta cafe.
nice food.
shared basil chicken risotto with sarah.
splendid.
haha. check out those pics that i will be posting in the online photo album.
then having seeked the permission from the restaurant, we had a mini bday celebration for the may and june babies.
really cute cake from bread talk.
haha. really thoughtful of flo, mich and sarah.
and the restaurant people were nice.
really great night.
after that headed for coffee club express. hoping to get coffee in a nice environment.
end up their last order was at 10 pm. too late.
argh. my coffee!
haha. end up we sit at the place and took pics.
really funny. sigh. hate my hair. gonna wait till it gets longer and do sthg about them.
haha.

and yea. finally settled university.
ntu bound.
oh finally.
haha. and was discussing with linda about hostel.
yea. so kind of settled my "cohabitation" partner.
haha. we'll be sharing a room.
yeap. looking forward to uni life which is going to start in less than 2 months' time.
gonna set myself to mugger mode.
really want to do well so that i can get some sponsorship each year.
that would lighten the financial load.

and i got my 3rd bday gift.
thanks sarah, linda and shiyun. haha.
really cool file and organizer. can use them for uni. how timely. :)
pink. but yea. it's still nice. really appreciate the gifts.

after that got home. slacked. and tmr's gonna be yet another day.
whoosh. time is passing.
eeeks.
omg omg omg.
haha growing old.
less than 167 hours to me turning 19. hope i nvr count wrongly. haha.