change

when you are too used to something.
you really detest the change.
even though you may be clearly aware that the change would make things better.
honestly.
i've come to see that stubbornly staying in a state of not changing doesnt help.
you may think that you are just staying stagnant at a spot.
but in fact, you are slowly degrading further and further.

like any normal human being, i dislike change.
especially rather radical ones.
but then again i cant blame anyone other than myself when changes do seem radical.
it's my own doing.
slowly accumulating what needs to be changed by not changing it.
and letting situations worsen.
then it ends up that a major change is required.

yet, change is part and parcel of life.
i do want to see a change.
cos the more i see the me now. the more i see things that needs to be changed.
my way of handling things.
my attitude towards certain things and certain people.
my habits.
even the state of my room.
so many to change.

sometimes i dont know where to start.
sometimes i dont know how to start.
but one comforting thing is.
change that's in the will of God, He'll be pleased.
He'll guide me through, always being with me.
He'll provide the strength and comfort i need.
He'll see me through it all.
:)

tonight i want to cry

tonight i want to cry

by keith urban

alone in this house again tonight

i got the tv on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine

there's pictures of you and i on the walls around me

the way that it was and could have been surrounds me

i'll never get over you walkin' away

i've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show

and i thought bein' strong meant never losin' your self control

but i'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain

to hell with my pride, let it fall like rain

from my eyes

tonight i want to cry

would it help if i turned a sad song on

"all by myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone

or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters

it's gonna hurt bad before it gets better

but i'll never get over you by hidin' this way

just got this really nice song from ying.
thanks girl.
it's a sad song.
but the music is nice.

anyway.
shall just blog a little.

yesterday met up with some of the people from the class cell.
a rare time for a get-together.
but indeed a wonderful time to be able to do so.
really thank God for bringing us together.
it was a weekday night.
yet it was still possible for meeting up.
thanks brothers and sisters for accomodating my messed up schedule.
and thanks joel for organising this.

had dinner at crystal jade restaurant.
and totally tried so much fantastic food.
hehe.
and chatting at coffee bean.
and getting a treat from flo.
the mooncakes from raffles the plaza is really fantastic.
man.
the champange one is good!

really a nice time of catching up.
and chatting up.
and of cos. haha. talking about so so so much.
hehe.
(hint: tsk tsk)


and a picture taken with mich's camera phone at crystal jade.
man her phone is so cool.
it's equivalent to a digital camera already!
woah.
the wonders of information technology.

i enjoyed myself.
thanks!
it was such an enjoyable time.
let's continue to see God use us in different areas of our lives!
:)

next week's gonna be term break.
and i really foresee a need to really manage time well.
gonna kick the trend of lazing in bed.
shall have to really do revision for quizzes.
and catching up with schoolwork!

some updates

yes.
pardon me for not updating as often.
indeed life's getting routinal.
sometimes i hate the way i fit into the ways of this world.
getting busy with all the things.
truly i need to find time to just detach myself from this place.

i loved saturday.
dinner was good.
and i was truly glad that mum and ying enjoyed themselves too.
i'm still really happy about it.
though my phone totally went bersek.

anyway.
it has been quite a week.
a simple presentation on monday.
then a crazy presentation on tuesday.
but thank God i survived all the craziness.
and really listening to my friend's advice to sleep as early as i can.

nothing much to post about.
except some interesting (well, at least i think they were interesting) pics.


some easter eggs i saw last sunday over at zion.
haha.
quite odd to see them by the side of this canal.
and in september.
haha.


the long queue to school.
the bus queue is like so long.
this is one of the shortest already for a normal school day.
honestly.
i am making quite some effort to beat the crowd to get to school each day.


and some bad photography in my opinion.
not just the lighting.
but also. it's some silly posed shot.
bleh.
i'm being so unprofessionally critical.
oops.


and some really nice sights in school.
the sunset from one of the study tables at the school library.
totally a pretty sight.
too bad my phone's camera isnt good enough to capture that splendid moment.


and nice food in school!
chicken baked rice.
quite a lovely thing for lunch.
hehe.


and spotted a major wheel clamping session on monday in hall area.
and silly me went taking photos of this interesting sight.
kind of glotting over others' misfortune.
but well. there's rules to parking that have to be followed.
a reminder to be a considerate driver if i do get to become one.

well. an incoherent posting of photos.
but when my thoughts do get more organised.
i'll post more stuff.
maybe sthg more thought provoking.
or simply sthg more of reading value.
hehe.

week 6

it's been quite a week.

monday was quiz.
and for the first time ever i got my balance sheet balanced.
well sounds like nothing big deal.
afterall the balance sheet is supposed to be balanced anyway.
but yea i got my balance sheet balanced.
which to me is some accomplishment.
thank God the quiz didnt seem that killer.
although it was a mad rush. fighting for time to finish up.
but yea. i've seen harder quizzes.

tuesday night went out for supper with linda chiewlin yonghong and his 2 other friends.
a get-together with the girls.
since i'm more or less out of hall for now.
and good thing was that yonghong got to drive his sis' car that night.
so i got a ride back home.
hehe.

wednesday played badminton with sis before class.
finally a work-out in ages.
trying to keep myself fit.
and i surely do hope i can.

cell group was fun.
and i loved the songs jj picked for worship.
really beautiful ones. hehe.

Every man's life is a fairy tale written by God's fingers. - Hans Christian Andersen

and i want to live out the story He has beautifully written. :)

got a ride to the mrt station after cell group.
was so tired that i missed my stop.
had to get off and cross the platform just to take the train in the other direction back.
sometimes i just feel so stupid.
haha.

thursday was a long day.
school started at 8.30 am.
managed to get to school even before 8 am.
and i beat the crowd!


class was so bored.
that i did something silly.
yet again.
yes. i did something silly.
bought coffee during the break and brought it to class.
end up doodling on the cup!

had project to settle after class.
presentation on next tuesday.
gosh.
it's been some time since i really do a formal presentation.
eeks. i've got to work on it.


after that rushed back to hall.
only recalled that there was a dinner arranged with the professors when i got smsed.
and the professor's apartment was totally lovely.
beautifully decorated.
so cosy.
maybe it's time to make sure my hostel room looks pretty.
makes it nicer to stay there i suppose.
but well. i wont be there most of the time though.
hehe.
doesnt really matter.
it ended up being a drinking session.
more like a wine appreciation class.
haha.
and it was totally amazing how some people can drink!
haha.
and it was also amazing that he made everyone drink a little.
and yet the whole night i manage to not touch a drop!
hehe. cant drink anyway.

came back home and finally did some work.
cos monday i've got another group presentation that's more informal.
got the questions worked out in the night.
and only got to sleep at 5 am.
woah.
haha. there goes my beauty sleep.

managed to wake up around 10.30 am.
was coughing like mad and end up waking up at 9 am.
then went back to sleep cos i was so tired.
after that ran errands for mum.


rainy day.
and it simply isnt my day.
haha.
was walking down this flight of stairs from my place.
when i just slipped.
and landed so hard on the ground.
gosh.
i wonder how clumsy i can get.


and it was flooding like mad everywhere.
goodness.
i hope the sun comes out soon.
to dry the ground.
so that when i go out later.
it'll be so much more convenient.
hehe.

quite a week.
and i've got to honestly say it isnt all smooth.
some things just seem to bother me.
no matter how much i dont want to see myself being bothered by them.
still i'm ok.
cos He will be the one guiding me.
afterall with Him, nothing is impossible.
and i know i'll be able to get over this.

it's gonna be yet another crazy week ahead!

happy birthday

happy "birthday" to myself.
hehe.
09092006.

got baptised at changi beach this afternoon.
it rained rather heavily for a while.
interrupted the testimony-giving part.
but God definitely heard our prayers and the rain stopped.
hehe. got my chance to share my testimony.
before waiting for my turn to step into the waters.

a step of faith.
truly anticipating God to open doors.
and lead the way.
more of Him and less of me.

really thank you to those who came.
zhixuan, linda and florrine.
sis and imran too.
i was so surprised that flo came!
hehe.
thanks everyone. very happy that you all came.

it's a happy occasion!
looking forward to growing even more.

evermore my heart, my heart will say

above all, i'll live for Your glory

even if my world falls, i will say

above all, i'll live for Your glory

here are some pictures.

dying to the flesh.
and coming out a brand new me!


lovely presents.
(clockwise from left)
book and card from florrine, zhixuan and linda. (totally sweet)
book from yuyan, beelian, fish and meiqing. card from yuyan and beelian. (inspirational book)
slippers with notes (ultra creative) from my cell group!
bird of paradise from zhong (how super duper unique)
hillsongs united cd from my cell group! (woohoo)

here i stand.
looking forward to a new beginning.
a beginning of a journey.
never alone.
but with the Lord.
:)

once a 23rd, always a 23rd

sounds kind of mushy.
even i feel weird putting it on my msn.
but indeed.
the past year.
i guess we've somehow made an impact.
as a committee.
whether signficant or not is not the issue.

indeed.
looking back.
it just seems to be a long struggle.
yet yesterday sitting among the rest of the residents at the agm.
it just felt like it was a year back.
when i was first so clueless about what was going on.

i must say i have did what i could for my own job scope.
but i guess i didnt do as much as a committee.
in fact, there were times i put people in a spot when i go mia simply cos of other commitments.
truly i had been a headache to many people.
even my boss.
and the even bigger boss.

this morning i received a card from the president of the committee.
i knew i havent done enough for the committee.
indeed, compared to many. i must admit i havent.
yet he has patiently dealt with the rebellious me.
serving in another committee outside hall now has nothing to do with me disliking the hall.
i dont dislike being in this hall.
of course i wouldnt say it was a totally smooth sailing time throughout the year.
but i truly must say i've got fond memories.

i remember the times when i got so stressed out that i cried.
doing the interhall games articles.
doing the hall video.

i remember the times i complained so often here about my boss.
making me redo this and that.
throwing the workload between the two of us instead of delegating to others.

yet, of course there were times that i enjoyed myself.
i never would have been down at so many hall events.
i never would have made an effort to know more people.

indeed, i feel i'm gonna miss hall.
not exactly because of the committee.
but truly i think i've gotten used to being there.
laughing late into the night with linda and chiewlin.
ranting to them about this and that.
complaining about you-know-who.
the late night suppers.
the crazy slumber parties.
even the late into the night meetings.
i've more or less gotten use to them.

i guess well.
all things must come to an end.
honestly, it has been a journey for me.
a learning experience.
a personal development.

for pride and passion.
i'm proud being the assistant publication secretary of the 23rd jcrc.
my passion. i cant compare to others. but i can say there's still that passion.


doubt this will stay long on the board.
with the new committee stepping up.
a last glimpse of my name on the board displaying the names of those in jcrc.


yesterday night's 'ord' party.
a chit-chat sharing session.
i guess i've got a lot of things to say which i didnt really say.
but i ate and drank my fill!
haha.

well. this marks the end.
the end of my service to the hall as a jcrc member.
most probably i'll be out of hall for quite some time.

a delayed entry

havent been updating.
nothing's much going on.
finally coming to the end of my term in the jcrc.

a whole year of crazy workload.
yet a whole year of varying experience.
the laughter. the tears.
i dont think i'll cry tmr though during agm.
hehe.
there's no need to i suppose.
haha.


a little late entry.
but happy birthday to my dearest mummy.
celebrated her birthday on sunday.
we had dinner at fish&co.
and it was a really filling dinner.
ate until i was so so so full.
and i think mum got a pleasant surprise with the fish&co crew coming in to sing her birthday song.
haha.
a really great time being able to have dinner as a family.

also. gradually moving out of hall.
cleared some of my things out of hall on monday with edwin's and christabel's help.
a big THANK YOU.
i guess i should be able to handle the rest of the things left and slowly bring them out of my hall.
crazy.
i need space at home though.
to keep my things properly in place.

gonna get baptised on saturday.
hehe.
it's gonna be quite exciting.
for me at least it is.
haha.

that's all from me for now.
got to really study enough.
so many things to do.
eeks.