as i have said

i shall update since i've cleared my deadlines for this week.
at least most of it.
there are still some things to be done.
so i'll need to keep reminding myself not to slack off.
though there are quite a handful of things to do.
i'm thankful that at least i feel enriched.
not that sitting down to think isnt good.
but sometimes it's easier to end up having quite a handful of negative thoughts.
then really meditating upon His Word.
at least for me that's the way it seems.
that's an area that i need God to correct too.

anyway.
i shall try blog something interesting.
and something that came to my mind.


had lunch with sis and ying last friday.
it's quite rare that we get to go out and eat together.
it's quite sad actually.
i really enjoyed myself that day.
truly i'm blessed in many ways.
i love my two sisters who are such great company.
had lunch at pasta mania.
it's been some time since i had that too.
and i promised ying a treat to pasta mania long time back.
i'm glad that it finally came as promised.
thanks girls. i loved the time we spent together.
let's look forward to more such friday lunches!

and some other interesting sights that i see around in school.


this was taken when i had dinner with chiewlin, linda and brendan on thursday night before i went back home.
saw this at the western food stall.
i never knew soup of the day is translated to dang1 ri4 li4 tang1.
to think i studied in a chinese school before.
haha.
how embarrassing.
i just realised mandarin is so distant now somehow.


saw this at a drinks vending machine today.
indeed the caption says "both have 0 calorie*"
note the "*".
it makes a lot of difference.
the other side picture isnt very clear.
but that's the small print.
my phone's camera isnt good enough to focus.
anyway. the small print says "* per 100 ml".
so the implication is?
for water. it's probably still 0 calorie for 330 ml.
why 330 ml. that's the volume of drink you have in a can.
but for coke light. it might well be 1 to 2 calorie for 330 ml.
my guess is that for coke light, per 100 ml, there's close to 0 calorie.
but it isn't EQUAL to 0 calorie.
so when consumed in a larger amount.
i'm pretty sure that the calorie intake won't be 0!
hehe.
so what's the lesson learnt?
that's how marketing tactics work!
read the small prints!
think!
haha.
i can't believe i can get so analytical at times.
maybe i'm just too bored by the class.
such that during the break, something like that stimulates my thinking.
hehe.

thoughts for the week.
somehow.
it's been a time for introspection.
sometimes i do that.
and probably that's why i say when i've got time to think.
it might end up being negative.
cos i evaluate myself.

looking at things.
i seem to be quite a lousy friend.
must apologise to peishan.
sorry girl.
i actually have to know what's going on in your life via your blog.
my friend for 14 years!
i guess it's really time to go read the book that weisin gave me years back.
"if i'm a good friend, i would..."
probably there's a reason why that book was a gift.
not that i'm looking too deep into things.
but i'm glad for such gifts that remind me sometimes.
that it may sound simple to be a friend.
but to really be a good friend.
it takes the effort.
and i've got to make that effort.
in a way.
i havent been a great friend because of the way i prioritise things.

God has also been dealing with my attitudes towards things.
there are things i know that i ought to invest my time in.
yet i have this tendency to set my studies above most things.
be it my family, my friends, my ministry, etc.
somehow my priorities seems screwed.
no doubt studies are important, but it aint everything.

and i came to realise that the problem doesnt only lie with the way i set my priorities.
i've got this big portion of pride within me that i fail to see at times.
the part of me that loves myself more than anything.
it's selfish and ugly.
and i've come to know that it's a major hindrance to the way i communicate with people.
studies become in a way an easy form of escapism.
what is there to communicate to books?
but when it comes to interacting with people, i've got my fears.
fears of appearing vulnerable.
though it's perfectly human to be.
fears of speaking the wrong things.
which i usually do.
but it all boils down to the way i love myself too much that i do whatever it takes to protect myself.
i must admit i dont know what it truly means to love.
it's not just in the sense of bgr.
but it's showing self-less love to people around me.
i've been receiving God's love.
yet i love myself so much that i'm keeping that love to myself.
it's really horrible.

and i guess because of this.
i've hurt people who came into contact with me.
i've neglected people who truly care and i ought to care for.
i've cast aside people who love me and i ought to love too.
i've never really knew what it is to really love.

sorry.
the times i flare up at home when things dont go right for me.
yes the problem is that i was too focused on the "me".
things didn't go wrong. i was the one that did.

sorry.
for the times i get moody cos i dont feel that i was appreciated.
yes. the problem lie in the "i" element.

sorry.
for the times i fail to find time for people.
i think i've always promised to catch up soon with many people.
cos i've really yet to see them in ages.
i always have been too busy. with what? my stuff.
yes. again. the problem with "my".

i'm appreciative that i've got people in my life who understands and cares.
peishan never once blames me for being 'too busy'.
mum tolerates my cranky times.
sis and ying helps me out whenever they can.
linda and chiewlin are people who listens to my rants.
my church friends who are concern with the way i'm coping.
and definitely many others.
it's time i return some love to show that i truly appreciate them.

i'm thankful that at different parts of my life.
things may have happened along the way.
not always positive.
sometimes, some things hurt when they happen.
but still, i'm thankful. truly.
that God is revealing to me the areas that need change in my life.
if i never come to see these.
i'll never be able to embrace the best that He has for me.

surely. i'm not perfect.
there are areas that need change.
things happen to bring about that change.
and i'm glad.
cos i've come to realise i truly need that change too.
:)

it feels good to come to this point of understanding.
now it's the action bit.
to really let that change set in my life.
it sure isnt going to be easy.
but i know i'm not alone.
He's with me.
He has placed people to help me.
in time, that change will be visible.
my loved ones, my friends: i would truly want to be a blessing.
this time. i dont ever want to make a promise i cannot keep anymore.

quick updates

shall quickly do a short update.
the low frequency of blogging is an indication of how my past week has been.
hehe.

basically, the past week has been a crazy week of meeting deadlines.
but thank God that i passed through it.
struggling in some areas.
but at least there's comfort in knowing that i'm not alone.
and i thank God for placing people around me that care.
it's truly encouraging. :)
a crazy week but i've learnt to be thankful.


had a treat the last saturday.
sister mabel gave us a lunch treat at pizza hut while we had our meeting to discuss plans for children church programme.
some of the pictures i took off the menu.
the kid's meal look real cute.
that ice-cream.
hehe.
and the m&m's sundae looks super tempting.
the bun like thing is actually the dough before they swing it around and flatten into the crust.
cool right?
i'm thankful for the team i'm in for children church.
not because of the treat. but sister mabel and the more experienced teachers have been guiding the few of us patiently.
and i enjoyed myself today.


on last sunday.
rushed back hall to set up for the event that the committee had.
had a tough time shifting things from the students' activities centre all the way to canteen b.
we laughed our way.
used the chairs as trolleys and i think they'll probably be assets waiting to be condemned.
hehe.
amazing how the group of us can laugh all the way while carrying all the panels and stuff.
truly wore me out.
but the end product as can see in the picture was the lovely art exhibition.
three days of craziness.
but still. it's worth the while.

basically. my week was loaded with schoolwork.
and i fought hard to discipline myself.
i've still got a few deadlines to keep up with for this week.
seeking His guidance for PA application.
learning to draw strength from Him more and more.
:) i know no matter how many deadlines. i'm sustained by the Almighty God!

of course.
things to look forward to!


teenage mutant ninja turtles!
hehe.
the trailer looks super cool.
any takers to watch this with me?

ok. enough said.
zhien out.
i've got to go sleep.
gonna wake up real early to prepare for presentation tmr!
eeks.

shall update when i've got interesting stuff!

taking a break

shall just update a little.

had one week of break last week.


to kick off the start of the week.
mum bought yusheng!
a treat.
i love yusheng.
but i dont eat the raw fish.
hmmm.


was out on monday with junjie and eugene to study.
passed this water fountain (?).
and saw two sisters.
think the girl was so amazed that the water squirted so high.
see her hands stretching to tell her sister about it.
the sweet innocence of a child.


had cell group at christine's house on wednesday.
and i think everyone of us that went down that day were blessed.
it was a good time of worship, sharing and prayer.


one of the silly things i saw.
was at the bank with mum while we went to hdb hub to settle the housing thing.
and end up seeing a funny error.
look at the date indicated!
for 2007, there's no 29 feb.
mum and i were there on 1 march.
but apparently sometimes banks can make the silliest error.


thursday was a good time spent with mum.
though the main thing was to go with her to hdb hub to get things settled.
but i get to have lunch with her.
and realised that baked rice at delifrance is rather nice.
can be rather costly though when you are broke.


was back at rjc on friday.
when the a levels results were released.
definitely feels different 2 years back when i was one of those waiting for the results.
this time round.
i was there for a different reason.
but still.
the school did well.
with 11 people scoring 4 a level distinctions, a1 for gp and 3 s papers distinctions.
goodness!


anyway. my job there was to promote my school.
got my 'official' letter being appointed as an ambassador.
sounds very woah but i dont think i've been contributing much.
well.


the whole one week in general.
was a week that i attempted being disciplined during the holidays.
tried to wake up at 8 am everyday.
of course not perfect success.
but it was a good time training myself to follow the schedule that i write for myself each day.
a challenge.
still.
not all things can always be properly planned for.
at least when humans plan.
something can still be left out.
left out my tutorials in my schedule.
so i freaked out on saturday night realising that all my tutorials are forgotten.
left at hall.

this week is a crazy week.
had a test on monday.
had an assignment that i had 19 hours to complete submitted latest by 8 am today.
which i managed to by 3 am then went sleeping.
having a test tomorrow.
after that i shall get to have a breather.
before working crazily on projects.
the semester is drawing closer to the end.
exams are coming soon.
freak.

some things are a little different for now.
and i'm still adjusting.
find myself struggling to cope even though the change has just begun.
still. i'll be ok.

i love this song.

take My hand and walk

i know there are times

your dreams turn to dust

you wonder as you cry

why it has to hurt so much

give Me all your sadness

someday you will know the reason why

with a child-like heart

simply put your hope in Me

take My hand and walk where I lead

keep your eyes on Me alone

don't you say why were the old days better

just because you're scared of the unknown

take My hand and walk

don't live in the past

cause yesterday's gone

wishing memories would last

you're afraid to carry on

you don't know what's comin'

but you know the one who holds tomorrow

I will be your guide

take you through the night

if you keep your eyes on Me

take my hand and walk where I lead

keep your eyes on me alone

don't you say why were the old days better

just because you're scared of the unknown

take my hand and walk where I lead

you will never be alone

faith is to be sure of what you hope for

and the evidence of things unseen

so take my hand and walk

just like a child

holding daddy's hand

don't let go of mine

you know you can't stand

on your own

food galore

i love food.
though i'm picky.
but i enjoy eating.
hehe.
and some food just never fail to fascinate me.


sometimes. some supermarket just sell stuff that are really cool.
but still.
they come at a price.
hershey's milkshake.
looks super cool.
but it's one bottle of milkshake.
think it can get rather disgusting after drinking half of it.
haha.


this is ultra horrible.
not in taste.
i havent tried.
but in terms of value for money.
it's 4.90.
cant really tell from the picture.
but the size of the packet of drink is about the size of a packet of milo drink.
simply cos it's ORGANIC milk.
it costs a bomb.
haha.
horrible.


guest appeared at u4's friendship day yesterday night.
since i was free after class.
the whole group. eight of us.
were grouped into 2 teams.
and we went around raffles city shopping centre, marina square shopping centre, suntec and citylink to play a modified version of shi zhi lu kou.
though i was really tired.
i enjoyed myself.
it was a good time to interact with jane and aaron.
since i dont get to talk to them often, being in a different cell group.
hehe.
the pictures of us eating the stuff we bought.
i look super unglam.
haha.
but well. who cares about that when there's fun!

hehe.
told you i love eating.

anyway.
really sorry if i look sian sian yesterday.
was stoning quite a fair bit too.
probably due to the fact that i'm not exactly used to waking up at 6 am to get to school.
not really my intention to affect others with my sian-ness.
hehe.
:)

chinese new year 2007

the year of the pig.
say goodbye to the dog.
say hi to the pig.
hehe.

here are some updates about cny for me!


cny is a time for new stuff!
loads of decorations at home.
loads of goodies.
new bedsheets!
mum chose a really nice colour.
hehe.
new clothes!
though i did last minute shopping.
hehe.
still i got a decent set of new clothes.


reunion dinner on saturday night was at my grandma's place.
it was really cosy with so many relatives around.
cny - a good time for a get-together!
hehe.
i love the BIG prawns.
tasted fantastic.
hehe.

cny was also a time for photo-taking.
playing around with the younger cousins.
sean's getting cuter and cuter.
hehe.
eunice's getting more and more active.
and she's growing to love taking photos.
hehe.


a family photo!
mum's so happy! :)


a photo with my mum.
and a photo with my godmum.
:) i'm a pampered child!
blessed. ^^


a photo with grandma.
she's getting older.
so somehow she cant recall most of our names.
especially since we have a really big family.
i've got loads of cousins.
hehe.
but she's my nice nice grandma no matter what! :)

a brief summary of days 1 to 3 visitation.
day 1 was spent visting grandma's place after coming back from church.
had fun at children church. hehe.
day 2 was spent visiting godfather's place.
after that went over to marshall's place with the cell group to celebrate his birthday.
day 3 was spent visiting christine's house in the morning.
i'm so happy for christine! :)
after that came home and slept for hours. hehe.
then was time at home.
hehe.


today went out in the morning to sentosa.
though it was no longer a public holiday.
my tutor cancelled the class.
so i've got one more day of holiday.
now the sentosa admission pass is really cool.
it works like an ez-link card.
though it looks more like the old farecard.
hehe.


basically.
with that card.
not only is it an admission ticket.
it also allows you to get in and out of sentosa via the sentosa express.
sentosa express is like a rail from vivocity level 3 to the different points in sentosa.
one station is still under construction.
the other is imbiah lookout.
and the beach station.
hehe. cool right?
i was so fascinated.
can tell that it's been some time since i went sentosa!
hehe.


basically i had wanted to go to sentosa for the sentosa flowers.
hehe.
this year's theme is inspired by nursery rhymes.
not just the familiar ones that we know of.
but also indian rhymes, etc.
hehe.
it is a really pretty sight.
though the weather was rather hot.
in the pictures - humpty dumpty, hickory dickory dock, polly put the kettle on, old woman who lived in a shoe.


there was a splendid showcase of flowers.
really nicely in bloom.
some are really rare sight.
it's a pretty sight that cant really be captured on camera.
really lovely to see so much flowers.
hehe.


more more!
hehe.
lovely flowers.
the orchids are really pretty too!
hehe.


and one of the photos i took there.
hehe.
the balloon thing is an exhibit titled 'pig went up in the air'.
hehe. quite a funny name.
the merlion just right behind.
hehe. nice capture right? ^.^

a nice morning spent at sentosa among the flowers.
hehe.
and of course a new experience taking the sentosa express.
a resounding end to this long weekend!
hehe.

it's back to school tomorrow.
one day of class.
before i get my one-week semester break!
woohoo.

democracy

i am never fond of politics.
honestly.

yet.
it just seems part and parcel of my life.
that i face somewhat appears to be a democracy.
the key thing is. appears to be.

this democracy gives me a choice.
yet. it doesnt exactly entitles me to make the decision i want.
it's saddening.
i'm sick and tired of arguing my way out.
cos there dont seem to be a point in it.

what i totally dont feel like doing.
i'm made to do it.
i was told.
search my conscience.
what is the issue with that anyway.
try making sense when you seriously dont.
to choose to do what i want to.
i'm deemed wrong.

what kind of democracy is this?
i wonder.
is this the way things ought to work?
isnt it supposed to be a fair say thing?
i dont think my choice holds weightage.
probably in the case it was a 3 votes against my 1.
maybe that's how the democracy works.

but in the first place.
is democracy the way things should work out?
politics shouldnt be holding it's place here.
at least i think it shouldnt be.

sigh.

yet another crappy post.
shall post something lighter on cny when i'm done compiling all the pictures.
zhien voted out.

my valentine's day 2007

can't really remember the exact time.
but here's how the day went along.

12.00 midnight - 1.00 am
last minute touch-up to the presents for linda and chiewlin.
then wanted to just go knocking on their room's door to pass the present.
end up linda wasn't in the room.
so i left the gift in the cabinet just outside the room.
end up being a 'surprise' (stealthy ^.^)
then only put chiewlin's one on the table when linda was back in the room.
i guess it probably is a 'surprise' for chiewlin in the morning.
well. unless she's really that sleepy.
hehe.

1.00 am - 2.00 am
realised only that it was SUPER late at around slightly after 1 am.
went trying to look for linda in her room.
but she was not around.
hmmm. hehe. where else can she be?
(cheeky grin)
messaged her to ask her if she still wanna do laundry.
went down to settle it only at 1.30 am.

2.00 am - 3.00 am
waited for the laundry to be done.
went knocking on linda's door when it was about 2.30 am.
i think i interrupted their time together quite a fair bit in this odd hour in the night.
hehe.
after that collected laundry.

3.00 am - 8.00 am
tired me went zzz-ing.
woke up at close to 8 am.

8.00 am - 9.00 am
washed up.
did my devotion.
only left the room slightly before 9.

9.00 am - 11.30 am
met beelian at the bus-stop.
got breakfast at canteen a.
then walked back to hall again with her.
had a wonderful time sharing with her.
managed to identify some issues through our conversation.
definitely areas where i'll need God's strength.
to be bold in speaking up about them.
and to allow Him to use me to be the light.

11.30 am - 12.00 noon
walked with beelian to the bus-stop.
then walked to quad to look for christine.
got some stuff from her.
went down to the wsc room to pick up one stalk of rose.
a v day gift from the president and vice president to the girls in the committee.
haha.
quite awkward though to have to go and collect the roses on our own.
haha.

12.00 noon - 2.00 pm
spent time in the room preparing for the presentation.
had lunch. :)

2.00 pm - 6.00 pm
class.
it was presentation day.
was well-fed with chocolates.
contribution by our tutor.

6.00 pm - 7.30 pm
dinner with the cell group at canteen a.
the guys were hilarious.
the drinks stall auntie was telling us about some free-for-all roses.
when a few of us went buying drinks.
probably what's left from those canvassing sales.
should see the reaction the 3 guys had.
so funny.
and they went to take quite some stalks.
went to the tables where the rest were.
presented the roses to edwin.
stirred up quite a commotion.
the roses were then given to the girls.
haha.

7.30 pm - 10.00 pm
cell group.
worship was amazing!
and it was a good time of sharing.
and the whole secret valentine idea was fun.
haha.
mystery givers.
which everyone randomly claimed to be.
haha.
i got something from binghan.
hehe. thanks bro.
i've got takashimaya shopping voucher!
hehe.

10.00 pm - 11.59 pm
came back to hall.
chiewlin and her friends were having steamboat.
didn't join them in eating.
but i just loithered around.
since i don't quite know how to get started on my proposal.
hehe.

basically.
that's the rough timeline of how my day was.
who said valentine's day is extra special?
hehe.
i had fun in a different way. :)
it's a blessing to have great friends around.
more importantly. it's great to have God as my best valentine ever!

just some pictures before really closing this entry.


present from chiewlin!
hehe.
it was nice lor.
chocolate coated cereal.
with strawberry!
hehe.
what indulgence.


present from linda!
a keychain torch.
hehe.
so cute.
i am still thinking what to use it with though.


my other v day gifts.
green apple. :)
rose from my 2 bosses.
the takashimaya gift voucher!

hehe. i'm pampered.
well. that sums up my 24 hours.