the battle begins

tmr!
i better wake up in time.
gosh.

i feel unprepared.
eeks. i can't seem to remember what i study.
am i even absorbing?
bleh.
sigh.
i need help, Lord!

i hope i emerge victorious.
the battle begins tmr.
6 more days to the end of it.
and the results will be unknown until dunno when.
well.
i seriously hope i do well.

in Him i trust.

living in a pressure cooker

isn't exactly fun.

less than a week to exams.
and i've barely started.

4 papers.
friday to wednesday.
the first time ever.
that my exams is packed together.

i can only pray that i do well.
doing my best.
and leaving the rest to God.

i've got to start mugging.
so much to cram.

i look forward to the end of it.
haircut.
missions trip.
interviews.
more rest.
meeting up with people (ps, teeseng, etc.)
youth camp.
christmas.
thanksgiving.

ganbatte zhien!

and to those having exams!
all the best.


thanks linda. i got a pleasant surprise this morning.
really sweet. :)

beyond words

how i'm feeling now.
i really have no idea how to express.
words.
they just seem to be limited in describing.
if you were to ask me how i am.
i really have no answer.
because i don't know how to say.

it just came so suddenly.
hurts. probably to put it simply.

at times i don't feel the pain in my heart.
yet. there are moments where it's just as if my heart is being squished.
there's that pain.
not to mention that there are always things that add on to the pain.

what else can i say?
i really don't know how.
how to say.
probably i've long forgotten what it is like.
to cry till i really let it all out.

many memories are being brought back.
loads of replay.
that i'm still trying to handle as they come.
i need better control of my thoughts.
lest they drive me nuts.

i don't know how else i can handle.
the surge of emotions.
the pain.
the situation at home.
everything.
i guess one thing i can really be thankful is that God is near.

broken-hearted i may be.
but that's how i can be closer to Him.
i just have to surrender.
and leave it to Him.

my strength.
my refuge.
my greatest source of comfort.

enough said i guess.
cos i really can't put it to words.

maybe i'll soon come to understand what it is like to be in 'serene chaos'.

*boo*

haven't blogged in ages.
so i guess it's time to just update a bit.
since i have a bit of time to slack now.
after a really crazy week.

well.
life's pretty normal.
just that got some additional exciting stuff.
but more or less i'm still who i am.
haha.
i wanna meet up with people.
but i guess everyone's busy with the impending exams.
i can feel the heat of it all too.
hehe.

i had a really crazy week.
but i thank God.
supposed to have 3 presentations and 1 quiz.
but one of my presentations managed to be shifted to next week.
so i've got time to work on it.
and a slightly lesser workload for this week.
the presentation today went smoothly.
i'm glad and very thankful.
the quiz. kind of tough.
but well. i really can't tell how i fare.
i was kind of tired.


still. in the smallest ways. i try to destress.
well. at least this shows that my brain is not totally dead from all the mugging.
i can still have some 'creativity'.
i wouldnt say my art is fantastic.
but at least seeing that makes me happier.
^.^


one of the recent saturdays.
mum had off. so some of her friends and relatives came over.
haha.
cute little sean came too.
he's grown a little taller. and definitely cuter!
haha.
gosh i sound like a pedophile. eeks.
but he seriously is cute, isn't he?
haha.
but he's highly hyperactive.
i couldnt really get him to take a proper photo.
so while he looks cute in this. i look super odd.
haha.


on tuesday this week. the cell group went city hall for a time of bonding.
a simple dinner.
and after that nic gave us an assignment.
to build the highest possible pyramid with the limited postcards he had.
out in the open with wind. bleh.
haha. had some failed attempts.
but we end up managing to get something decent out.
and took loads of whacky shots with it.
hehe.

exams coming real soon.
there just seems like there's so much to do.
i need better time management skills.
and i need to focus.
bleh.

zhien out. i can't really think of what to blog already.
soon. soon.
i'll blog more interesting stuff.
ciao.

i'm addicted to...

caffeine.
gosh.

"If you are particularly affected by caffeine, you will find that the quantity and quality of your sleep will be greatly reduced. This can set off a vicious cycle, where you feel so tired all the next day that you drink a lot more coffee just to try to feel awake.

If this is happening to you, cut back on the amount of coffee you consume each day."

- Buzzle.com

i seriously think i probably am guilty of this.
eeks.

been drinking about 4 to 5 cups of tea/coffee for the past 2 days.
with a minimum of 2 cups a day.
oh man.
do i really have to kick this addiction?


then again, who can resist a cute cup of tea?

*disclaimer - ultra random post

a sneak peek

here's what my room looks like at the moment.
havent really fully unpack in a sense.
which means i've got more than what is being seen here.
just that they are at a corner hidden from the camera.
haha.

first time moving house in my life.
haha.
moved hall before.
but today was the first.
and i'm tired.
haha.
but at least looking at the room now gives a bit of satisfaction.
hehe.
shall be posting pictures soon when i'm less tired.
and when i've organised things better.

a new place.
more in store.
hehe.

how can i not be stressed

when i just cant seem to get it right.

a few more days.
yet so little time.
argh.

Lord, i need wisdom.