into week 4 - je suis fatigue

though i'm quite worn out already.
i just thought i need to blog.
so that i dont pile up more things.
and treating this as some form of destress for the time being.

i only got home at 12 midnight just now.
sounds cinderella-ish.
but well. i forsee a really crazy week ahead.

just a bit about my last week.
nothing much in fact.
school's really busy.
and it's not getting any less busier.
in fact. my workload is piling up.
there doesnt seem to be much net movement in my in&out-trays.

last monday. meeting.
enough said.
i'm thankful i got a ride back.

last tuesday. class. tuition.
my student's ca.
seems like she made some improvement.
i'm glad.
missed the bgr workshop because of that.
so i'm going to attend trainer nic's class.
someday.
haha.

last wednesday. a long day of class then to the long-awaited cell group.
wednesdays are crazy in terms of classes.
still. cell group is the greatest consolation mid-way in the week.
though seemingly small in number for now.
but there's hope. God will surely do something. He already am i believe.

last thursday. rot 5 hours away at the election booth.
just passing people forms to fill in so that they can vote.
i ought to have done sthg more constructive.
sigh.
then headed for co for counselor's briefing.
mandarin. i've got to familiarise myself with it.
so out of touch. i think i sound china-ish.
agape healing rally coming soon.
praying for a change.
praying for a what-seems-impossible-but-is-always-possible-for-God miracle.
pray with me!

last friday. hosted welcome tea.
which resulted in having to miss prayer meeting.
and i felt really odd.
sigh.


last saturday. a whole load of fun at pasir ris park.
my only form of workout for the week.
cant believe i was that packed in my schedule.
or should i say cant believe i nua my week through.
the tertiary ministry had an oikos at pasir ris park.
had some simple team games.
before the bbq.
took some photos with my rather-limited phone camera.
which i think is scenic.
i love the beach!
time to start saving up for a good camera.
while waiting for the food to cook.
played captain's ball. so i got my workout.
haha. i had fun.

sunday. the Lord's day.
what else can i say?
it's good to be found in the house of God. :)
then went watching a french movie with michael at night.
quite a silly french comedy.
the dialogue was in french.
i kind of dont understand.
only managed to catch a few phrases.
good thing there were subtitles.
else i'd probably have dashed out of the place with my head swelling.
someday i should visit france.
j'aime le francais!

anyhow.
today i'm tired.
counting down to 3 more days.
well a little less than 3 days.
and then that's about it.


oh well. time to hit the books again!
mugger zhien heading out.

Jesus take the wheel

take it from my hands

'cos i can't do this on my own

i'm letting go

so give me one more chance

save me from this road i'm on

Jesus take the wheel

- Jesus take the wheel by carrie underwood

and somehow. i think something's very wrong.
hmmm. i need to look into this.
something's wrong. somehow.

it's week 3 already!

time flies.
into week 3 of school already.
hehe. even the smu ppl are back to school after the long break.

effectively a few more weeks left to the end of this semester.
soon i can count the number of weeks left with both hands.
time flies when it's a university semester.
i need to be a better steward of time.

shall just update.
since i see dust gathering on my blog.
havent been updating.
cos i'm rather tired.
adjusting to the pace of school.

so far.
week 2 has been quite a pressurizing week for me.
i sense the pressure placed by the academic requirements of the modules i'm doing.
somehow it seems as if the challenge is great.

last monday...

i learnt french for the first time.
i can some sort of do a self-introduction in not-so-accurate french.
hehe.
bonjour.
je m'appelle zhien.
je suis singapourienne.
je suis etudiante a ntu.
je h'abite a singapour.
je parle anglais, chinois et japonais.
venturing into my 4th language!
it's getting tougher though.

had a visit to the doctor.
bleh. horrible to be sick.
shant elaborate.
but i'm getting better.

marked the final formal committee meeting for my term.
still i had to stay back in school today.
just a few more things to handle before fully handing over.
and clearing myself off the commitments.


last tuesday...

was a simple day.
a short day in school.
with a tutorial which i didn't really prepare.
got to work harder for this module!
not easy not easy.
but definitely not impossible.
gonna ganbatte.


last wednesday...

a long day in school.
almost didn't have much of a breather between classes.
but it's not the worse yet. wait till it's week 4, 7 and 8.
hehe. still i'm thankful.
had a combined cell group for this week.
hehe.
had a short ice-breaker.
which was rather hilarious.
we're just so creative!
haha.
looking forward to see our cell groups move to greater heights!
definitely appears to be not an easy task now.
but with God as our strength. we'll see breakthroughs!


last thursday...

morning classes got me so tired.
i dozed off a while during lecture.
so i've got to do my self-study.
lagging.
hehe. but learning to catch up. (hmmm. seems like a mismatch between what i am saying and doing. bleh.)

played badminton with irwin and daniel.
met a girl by the name adeline from nie who joined us to play when her friend left. :)
had my right arm aching the next day.
probably due to the fact that i havent been playing for AGES.
haha.
but so far so good.
i'm at least engaging in some form of sports once a week.
hehe.


had a great dinner with bethesda, daniel, wesley and jemie at cafe cartel.
we indulged in food.
just look at the hungry guys gobbling up the ribs. eeks.
what i ordered wasnt that nice though.
bleh.
oh well.
nothing really fascinates me more than desserts.
we sat and chat till 9 pm.
before ordering cakes! cos after 9 pm. cakes are at 50% discount!
woolala.
hehe. the truffle is really nice.
soft cheese cake. hehe. i'm currently into cakes.
haha.


but the best was the company.
we had a good time sharing.
hehe. our dreams.
let's keep our dreams alive ya?
hehe.


last friday...

had a class which threw me directly into the pressure cooker.
haha.
the tutor assigned the groupings.
so i'm in a group with nobody else i know.
kind of have to adjust all over again. getting to know people. managing group dynamics and stuff.
and the tutor freaked everybody out with the assignments.
think just for this module.
i've got a stimulation game to play.
about 4 or 5 presentations to do.
about 6 written reports to do.
and it's just for ONE module.
faint.
aja aja fighting!

had a good time during bible study.
though i was rather worn out and drained after a shocking class.
still. i learnt. i received.
learning to really receive strength from God daily. :)

visited beelian's house for the first time.
hehe. saw a lot of childhood photos!
haha. cute. i wonder how i should do up my room.


the weekend...

i was encouraged.
i know there are challenges ahead.
even now i'm struggling with them.
school. ministry. emotions. thoughts.
i must say i was fearful.
God dealt with me.
to come to terms with my fears.
to face the times i suppress and run away. choosing anything but to face what i couldn't handle.
to stop Him from just breaking me.
i realised many a times when challenges come.
i looked at myself instead of God first.
the more i did that. the more i see that i can't.
but God had something better. He wanted me to see that i can because He is with me.
He wanted me to see that He can.
He wanted to give me strength.
He wanted to reassure me that His grace is more than sufficient.
He wanted to mould me.
i'm struggling.
no doubt. i feel weak.
but now i know and i'm sure. that though i'm weak. my God is strong.
all i need is to just stay close.
very close.

moving forward.
learning to partner with God to move ahead.
to align to His plan.
learning to yield.


into week 3 i go! ;)

week 1

just a quick update.
it's already week 1 into school.

and it has been a rather simple week.
given that the classes are not in full fledge yet.

my first day back in school was well spent.
had an early morning class for 2 hours for the day only.
but i had a meeting in the evening in school at 7.30 pm.
so i had 9 hours to spend in school.
printed my notes and stuff after class before meeting christabel.
went for a swim at ntu src swimming pool for the first time.
and i'm really very mountain turtle.
so i guess there are parts of the school i've yet to really explore afterall.
swam only a few laps.
but i think i'm getting darker now.
cycling trip the week before + swimming this week.
hehe.
after that met our freshies daniel and wesley for lunch at canteen 2!
hehe.
had waffles finally. after so long.
after that took the shuttle bus around ntu.
christabel and i had our really enjoyable prayer ride!
haha.
meeting at night.
when i got home i slept so soundly.
must be the swim.
each time after swimming. i feel like i can sleep way better.
haha. must be some water theraphy effect.
looks like i must swim a bit more often.
hehe.

tuesday was a no class day.
simple day sleeping in.
ran some errands.
met beelian.
tutored.
simplicity itself can be an indulgence.


wednesday slept in quite a bit.
before heading school for auditions.
quite an easy one.
so i ended very early.
i hope it's the same for the regular practices too.
then i won't have to rush for cell group!
christine came back.
and gave us a krispy kreme treat after dinner.
hehe.
all the way from LA!
how cool is that?!
that sparked off my doughnut cravings quite a bit.
hehe.
thanks girl.


thursday morning was spent at church praying for the nation.
how wonderful.
i think i received a lot from what pastor shared.
shan't allow the past, which has no future, stop me from moving into God's plans for me!
i'm more than a conquerer in Christ!
after that spent some time chilling with christabel.
then went for wesley's birthday celebration.
though his birthday was a week ago!
the celebration was fun.
the agar agar was so cute. in the shape of a dog.
i couldnt resist taking a picture of it.
hehe.
the food was great. i love the rojak!
and more importantly, i'm encouraged by he shared. :)

friday was spent helping out with tutoring at church office.
then headed school with junjie.
gosh. that lecture.
the topic seems tough.
hmmm gonna have to put in some more effort this semester!

a few interesting things to share.
hehe.


passed by carousel. this dining place at royal plaza on scotts the friday the week before.
and saw these lovely cakes.
hmmm. someday i must try these.
they look really pretty!


went over early this afternoon to take a look at my room-to-be.
the room looks rather small.
but i think it's still an ok size.
hehe.
i think it's going to look nice. hehe.
i cant wait!
hehe.
and the kitchen is going to look pretty i think.
the contractor was good at sketching!
:)

but now i'm not feeling quite well.
sigh.
a few days back caught a flu.
and has been either having a runny nose or a blocked nose to date.
now coughing so badly.
that i seem to experience shortness of breath at times.
i'm sick and tired of hearing the whizzing sound in the lungs.
i guess partially cos i'm unfit.
partially cos of slight asthma.
sigh.
and i felt so bloated after dinner the night before.
think some form of indigestion.
today i didnt even feel hungry when it was close to dinner time.
although i only had chee cheong fun for lunch.
forced myself to just eat.
but i think i cant really enjoy food for now.
bleh. i need to get well soon.
well.
heading to week 2!

1st august

my first trip to pulau ubin.
sounds silly.
but well. it's true.
today was the first time i stepped into this island.


we took a boat from the jetty at changi village there.
i love boat rides actually.
having the water lightly splashing on my face.
with the wind that blows because of the speed.
the view.
hehe.


got there in a matter of minutes.
and then rented bikes from one of the shops there.
managed to rent a bike at 4 bucks for the entire day.
i'm quite lousy at cycling in fact.
though not that i cannot cycle at all.
but i'm lousy at controlling.
the starting.
getting the bike to go straight once i start is never something i am good at.
the upslopes.
i can never have enough stamina to cycle all the way up.
once the momentum is not there. i can never start from midslope and continue.
end up pushing the bike up the slope.
only to enjoy the wind blowing when heading down.
still. i'm so happy to finish the whole course.
to just go all the way to the end.
with a little scars from the scratches caused by the peddle that just goes out of control.
and some bruises.
mix with mud.
sounds horrible.
but i enjoyed myself.
so i didnt really matter.
hehe.


we stopped for a break.
went to chek jawa area.
there was a viewing tower.
which we climbed up.
spent time singing.
had a time of giving testimony.
and i'm encouraged.
it's just amazing how each of our lives can be different.
yet God is moving so wonderfully in our lives.
God is good. all the time!


went to the jetty area and spent time just posing for funny shots.
all sorts of silly pics.
it was fun.


generally, i felt that the island was simple.
everything there seems just different from the city.
i probably won't be used to living in such an area.
i love the scenery.
the air is just fresh.
the place is just simple.
somewhat looks like a getaway from the city.
very lovely.
a beautiful place.
and it was a truly eye-opening first trip to the island.
splendid.
hehe.

a good time of fellowship.
which i truly enjoyed.
hehe. thanks ken for patiently waiting for me when i lagged behind.
thanks daniel for putting in all the effort to co-ordinate this.
thanks geraldine, junjie and xinyi for willingly taking silly shots with me.
thanks for being such wonderful company.
the rest too. for being such a sport.
and of course. thank God.
for the good weather.
it was raining over at my place when i left house but it was a splendid weather at ubin.
hehe.
thank God too for being such a comforter, encourager.
He moved in our lives and i'm strengthed by the testimonies shared.
thank God for His protection. we had a smooth journey.
other than the scratches i got. none of us got injured.
and though the route wasn't well planned, we didnt get lost.
the timing was fine to get to ntu for cell group in time.
though it was from one end to another.
God made a way. :)

though not all things go smooth all the time.
i still thank God for all that He has done and all that He is going to do.
things may seem haphazard.
some people may seem just so hard to handle.
some times it's just tough to put your point across.
but there's no doubt that God is good.

the end of 11 weeks and 1 day

i'm thankful.
finally it's the end of my work attachment.
i had asked for a one week leave so that i could go for church camp.
and i thank God that it was approved smoothly.
God is indeed faithful to provide.
though some may wonder why and end up having to extend my attachment period to make up for the one week of leave.
i'm glad. even during my final week of work. i'm thankful for the joy within.

a short summary of what i've done in these 2.5 months.

achieved my own personal record of completing 8 tax computations in a day.
yippie.
i am amazed also.
by how that can ever be possible.
haha.


well. i had a box of stuff to clear up on my final day though.
haha.
i guess i took too much stuff to work on.
and end up being unable to finish through cos the clients didn't get back.
so well. i had fun waiting to clear backlogs.


saw a lot of interesting stuff too.
this is just one example.
as i was flipping through the documents.
some clients provided really outdated irrelevant documents.
and well though taxing.
i had fun digging through those stuff and keeping myself entertained by what i see.
i found that UOB got it's new name after september 1999!
hehe.

thank God for really nice fellow interns.
i truly enjoyed the company.
i enjoyed the lunches we had together.
though sometimes i just sat and watch them eat.
i enjoyed the fun we had.
indulging ourselves in really good food.
more so planning for the week of indulgence.
and really looking forward to it.
i'm thankful for the company to go all the way with me to peace centre there during their lunch break.
just to accompany me. cos i needed to print something for the rally publicity.
really nice to have met them and got to know them through this internship.
thanks yinjie and yongkang!
hehe.

the colleagues were nice too.
cho cho guiding me even though she was really busy.
vincent having to help me clear up the things that i've done.
sometimes the mistakes that i make.
resulting in him having to work on the review points again.
which werent easy.
agnes for being so straightforth in speech.
being a really nice and funny person to have around.
ice for giving me opportunities to try out what i've wanted to.
i was put in the accounts department.
but i mentioned i was interested in trying tax.
and she gave me loads of chances to do it.
which i'm really happy.
not that i'm a serious workaholic.
but i enjoyed doing tax more than accounts.
thanks for her guidance also.
having to answer my queries even though she has a lot of work at hand.

i'm thankful for the wonderful treats.
really undeserving.
vincent, ice, soolian, agnes, etc gave us a treat at riccotti.
we had fun going italian that day.
all the desserts.
like what agnes say.
that created wonderful memories.
pauchoo gave us a treat on my last day.
went to sushi bar.
so it was a japanese treat.
hehe.
having another treat by aikkuan coming up on friday.
going to swensen's.
hehe.

my pa company was.
a place with a cozy working environment.
i'm glad.
though not a company with loads of prospects to offer like those big accounting firms.
but it was a place that presented chances to learn.
it was a great experience in my opinion.
though the pay wasn't totally fantastic.
but i'm glad.
cos it isn't all that mattered.
i think i've been rewarded in many other ways.
God has faithfully blessed me i must say.
hehe.

shall enjoy my break before it's start of school.
i can't wait.
going to be a different semester.
well. still, there are things to look forward to.
come what may, i've got a great big God!

my very own food fest

shall update. since i havent done so in ages.

this week was the last week of the attachment for my 2 fellow interns.
because of the leave i took i can only finish mine on 30th.
and we decided to just indulge ourselves for lunch this week.
using our pay to spend a bit more on lunch just so that we can enjoy one week of lunch together.
we had it all planned since the week before.
in fact i had it drafted out.
ask me if you want to take a look at the mini post-it note i wrote with the days and the places we are going to have lunch at.
i'm amazed how a food lover i can be.
hehe.

shall let the pictures do the talking (as usual).
the pictures are better at telling you how nice are the food we had!


monday. a simple lunch at kopitiam @ my dining room.
that's the food court at the central.
following that. muddy mudpie at coffee club xpress!
woohoo.
spent 3.80 on my lunch.
4.10 for sharing the mudpie.
i indulged.


tuesday. lunch at pepper lunch.
had chicken pepper lunch set.
after that went to this classy shop.
pasley&cream. the shop looks really pretty.
with lovely cupcakes.
i ordered the cheesecake. yongkang got the bread pudding. yinjie got a double chocolate cupcake.
spent 9.50 on lunch.
4.60 on the nice cheesecake, which i think was a splendid deal.
again. i indulged.


decided to go some sort of all-american on wednesday.
went billy bombers and got ourselves take-away.
the ultra nice-smelling banana milkshake.
woolala. totally fabulous.
then went to chippy british take-away.
and sat down there to eat.
i got the beer battered fish with chips.
we shared the fried calamari, which was really nice!
spent 7 bucks on the wonderful milkshake (expensive but really good stuff).
banana-licious.
spent 6 bucks on the food. this lunch was a real splurge.
once again. i indulged.


thursday.
we decided to go a little lighter.
since the office had a birthday celebration later that day.
went to soup spoon at raffles city shopping centre.
got myself a regular boston clam chowder.
hehe.
nice stuff.
simple but nice.
spent 5.90 on what seemed healthier compared to all that i had eaten.
well. i indulged.


the finale of the week. friday.
what we had aimed since day 1 of attachment.
passed by this ricciotti italian restaurant on the first day after our lunch.
and decided that the pastry looks really good.
and we ought to celebrate the end of our attachment there.
so having eyed it for so long.
it was finally realised.
just take a look at the restaurant!
classy.
i love that wonderful display of italian pastry.
oolala. totally yummy-licious!


the totally awesome selection of pastry.
my favourite one - preziosa.
milk chocolate cream with aromatic currant coulis and soft macaron.
splendid.
next favourite. soffiato.
warm dark chocolate cake with chocolate-chip icecream.
the chocolate was oozing out of the cake when you dig in. woooo.
tried others too.
diplomatica - puff pastry and sponge cake layered with hazelnut custard and chocolate.
duomo - mascarpone and spicy cream with olive oil sugar dough.
tiramisu - mascarpone cheese cake with ladyfinger biscuits, coffee and cocoa.
crostata - fresh exotic fruit tarlet.
man i love this.
got a set lunch anyway.
came with pollo cacciatora (chicken leg braised with red wine and vegetables) with mashed potato. the pastry. and a cup of cappuccino.
supposed to spend 23.40 on this.
but the three of us got a treat from our fellow colleagues!
thanks! ^^

so all in all i spent 40.90 on eating lunch this week!
quite a spread.
and i'm so satisfied.
i had fun. taking pictures. eating with the 2 of them and with the other colleagues too!
hehe.

one more week to go.
actually. the wait to the end of the attachment isnt horrible.
i am thankful.
for such a wonderful time.
:)

the relentless pursuit

the pursuit began way before i was born.
every day of my life.
He carefully crafted it in His hand.
to turn it to the best for me in spite of the wrong choices i made without understanding His good and perfect will before i knew Him.
to provide me with the opportunities to come to know Him despite me missing the earlier ones He placed in my life.
He ran. He loved.
i'm glad that He never once gave up on me.
rebellious as i can be. He loved me.
nothing that i do can make Him love me more or love me less.
He is love.
when i thought all was gone when my earthly father was gone.
He provided a way. for me to know there's still Him - the Heavenly Father.
He was ever ready to shower me with blessings. with His love.
His love that makes me whole.
i can never thank Him enough.
except to pursue Him in return with all that i have.
that's the least i can ever offer.

the aim of the pursuit - to draw you and i back to Him.
what is displayed in the process.
the undying love of the Father.
the sheer determination to see that none shall perish.
the willingness to give up everything - even if it means dying on the cross - just for you and i.

He's just knocking at the door this very day.
can you hear?
will you open the door and let Him in?
why not put a stop to the stubborness and just open the door, run into His embrace?
He's waiting.
waiting for His beloved child to come back to Him.
i responded. how are you going to respond?