condemnation

guys suck.
they have no rights to hurt someone like that.
it's just not fair.
why are things like that?
it's just not the way it should be.
horrid horrid horrid.

why should they hurt someone they claim to love to much?
do they even see the tears?
there could have been a better time to work things out.
why does this have to happen?
this totally sucks to the core.

the world isnt fair.
i can only hope. dad is there to protect.
from whatever hurt. whatever pain.
we need to survive through this stupid exam period.
why should such shit come in the way to make things worse?

life sucks to the core when there are useless guys around.
yes no doubt he's someone good. nice.
but it's just bad enough to pick the wrong time to settle things.
watever it isnt fair.
it isnt fair that we have to cry over this. at this time.
it isnt fair to decide as and when he likes.
it isnt fair that he chooses to do this.
why hurt someone so badly?
i dont understand.
i dont want to understand!

go to hell la. freaks!
get a life!
freaks. losers. stupid guys! damn it.
condemnation! idiots. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

pissed pissed pissed. this is bloody freaking.

please. stop crying. be happier.
there's nothing i can do.
but please we all have to be happy.

delayed

havent been blogging much. as sis pointed out. hehe.
yeap. boring life.
mugging marathon over here.
preparing for the big battle.
haha. life sucks man.
but well.
time to focus and really study.
once i get pass this hurdle. the playing begins. hehe.
i dont think the hurdle is far. it's nearing.
but so is playing. all the fun begins.

hehe. most prob not going on a trip anymore.
but doesnt make things any bit worse.
hehe. can still go and have fun!
i'm so gonna catch up with loads of people.

and yea. jay's album's release date is drawing near.
man. the excitement begins.

well.
this week has been great. generally.
of course. some crap at times.
but yea. all's fine.
nothing's perfect. but close to perfection is good enough.

had 2 pizza treats this week.
teeheeeheee. zhien is a glutton. lalalalala.
went ps came over on thurs. the bunch of us had pizza party in the room.
hehe. so funny.
they intended to make me drunk so that they can get hold of my jay's poster.
haha. thank goodness i smuggled it out on wed le.
hahahahahaha. you cant get it! it's my sis's now.
and of course. today's lunch. pizza again. mummy's treat. she's so lovely.
haha. and yea. she might make dinner on wed. so shall go back home and have a good meal.

sat night. full house final ep.
so lovely. haha. it's a happy ending. as usual.
but it's so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.
haha. and yea. that's shows. they are mostly like that.
all's well ends well. cool.

just now received the most dumbest sms.
shant mention the content. haha. but yea. it's absurd.
but wah haha. dumb smses make me happy. *laughs

zhien's gonna have fun. with mugging. with exams. and with post-exam!
hehe. cant wait for all the fun to begin.
sounds sadistic. but yea. i'll have to survive through this.

impulse

hehe.
went to pre-order jay's new album le~
lalala. zhien is the happiest girl on earth.
wahahaha.
dumbos really do impulsive things.
dumbos like me that is.
haha.
i went past the music shop then just saw the poster.
then decided to get it.
hehe.

consequences of my impulsive decision.





so i have with me the voucher that i can redeem the cd on 1st nov!
and a poster that i just cant bare to get it out of that plastic covering.
hehe.

and because of my impulsiveness.
i had to carry that plastic roll of poster all the way to tuition at ang mo kio.
and then carry it back to jp then to hall again.
how dumb.
hehe. and it was a horribly rainy day over at ang mo kio.
thank goodness the poster was in the plastic cover thing. haha.

hehe. time to get to mugging.
quiz test presentation. omg.

exams....

confusion

hmm. shall randomly blog some nonsense here.

thoughts are in a mess.

the ones that you care for the most. love the most.
tends to give you the world's worst headache. the worst heartache.
sigh.
again. arguments back at home.
2 weeks of happy weekend back at home.
then come another week with chaos.
not much of a big deal.
it always passes.
but it's just like the nails in the fence story.
these short snippets leave scars.
small and hidden. but still does not change the fact that they are.
horrid. whatever it is.
zhien will stay strong pass everything.

full house is a really lovely and sweet drama.
such dramas are like that.
dreamy. impractical.
but people simply like it. for that fantasy.
for that moment to indulge in the possibility of such scenarios happening.
even if that means the probability is one in a million. billion. zillion. trillion.
might consider buying the vcd so that i can catch the front eps that i've missed out.
another item on my wishlist.

animes are lovely too.
finished watching dn angel all over again.
indulged myself.
knew that it's gonna be a busy week ahead. but still.
i couldnt resist watching and spending time on it.
damn it.
but well. it's yet another cool story with a perfect ending.
if only life's really like it.
happily ever after.
who doesnt wish for that.
but reality is harsh.
not all things end well.
if so, i rather there be lesser pain and things end sooner.
i wished i had powers. special powers.
with great powers come great responsibilities?
who cares. i want special powers.

the harsh facts of life are the hidden parts of those beautiful dreams.
when will the day come when they are one. the hidden parts gone.
with only beautiful dreams.
that'll be sthg to look forward to.

listening to the full house ost now. lovely tunes.
then again. why are there sad tunes around.

down down.
zhien is falling deep down.
argh. need to get out of this mess.
need to get out of this blues.

ps. i decided not to post my zi lian pic.
no mood. not nice.
bleh.

nocturne

wah haha.
just listened to jay's latest single.
夜曲 *click here*
drools. man i sound bimbotic.
haha.
but well. his song is nice.
hehe.
and i think the album title is artistic.
十一月的萧邦
album released in november. and his hit single 夜曲 is a composition by chopin.
man. lovely.
beautiful. wonderful. totally awesome.

now one more item on my wishlist. hehe.


time to get back to blogging.
hehe.

been a busy week for me.
projects. presentations. tutorials.
high stress level.
but yea. i managed through.
next week gonna be more shit.
tuesday i've got a project due. a presentation to do.
wednesday i've got a written assignment due. a presentation to do.
thursday i've got a quiz.
wah haha. 3 out of my 4 school days have horrid stuff.
blehh. tough luck.

well. some little sweet things again.

mum got me this balloon sculpturing kit when i went back the last weekend.
lovely.
haha. my mum's so cute.
she's always pampering me with stuff.
i'm glad she's around.
seriously, brings smiles to me every weekend i get back.
hmm. then again. her health is sthg bothering me.
was coughing quite bad last week that made me really worried.
dashed out one night just to get her warm water and ended up bumping into the bike.
bruise on my left thigh. eeks.
haha. but well. at least she's better now.
phew.
my cute mum is the greatest mum on earth~

sis.
we did it. managed to go gym last fri.
miracle.
hehe. and the lunch on wed. hehe.
really enjoy the meet-ups we have before i get back home.
really nice to have someone around.
we used to wait for each other to end class back in secondary school.

ying.
haha. this girl. encouraged me for my coming exams.
and tried to send me one of jay's old song but really nice one.
hehe. funny girl who really is so fun.
haha. my lovely family.

peishan.
went out for dinner with this silly girl.
hah. tuesday night.
had a terrific dinner at fish&co.
omg. been so long since i've ate that.
and fish&co's ifish n chips are droolicious.
haha. fantastic.
then went to walk around.
in the end had to leave her in a hurry to get back to hall for meeting.
how dampening.

nothing much this week.
hehe. i really like jay's new song.
i like his old songs too.
conclusion: his songs are nice and i like them all.
hehehehehehehe.
someone give me a hamper of all his albums and posters! *drops from the sky?*

for old times' sake

haha. for the sake of my most whiny oldest friend, ps.
i shall write sthg. lest she say i dont spend time blogging.

here's the start of a boring entry of "nothing-much" happenings.

yet another stressful week.
there's projects due soon and i'm trying to make it a point to complete them this week.
or else i'm gonna be so dead for the next.

despite the stress and all.
there are things that simply delighted me.
people that really made my week.

first, of course my gorgeous sister. the babe.
hehe.

she came over on monday to my hall's canteen just for a short meet-up before she rush off for her next class in the afternoon.
hehe. had a simple chat. and of course, i had dessert to eat.
haha. thanks girl for the treat to that bread from the western food stall.

today she came over again. had lunch together. then yea.
ate at canteen 3.
hehe. kind of dumb but it was the most convenient one since i had to rush off for tuition.
she did a short run-through of her presentation to me. and yea. i learnt something yet again.

gonna meet up on friday again.
woohoo.
we gonna have to make it this time.
haha. force our lazy bums out of each of our beds and get down to gym.
haha. friday morns were never success.
but this time. hmm. let's see some miracle.

second, linda. my wonderful roomie.

she totally surprised me when she got back on sunday.
bought me mac hot fudge sundae when she came.
really really sweet of her.
i was in the middle of the meeting and everyone was so envious that i had ice-cream to eat.
hehe.
so that cheered me up from having to miss wo he jiang shi you ge yue hui 3 for a meeting.

and yea. and thanks to her lovely cute looney tunes wafer biscuits.
her biscuits was my snack for lecture for monday.
hehe. so i had sthg to eat during the lecture and not fall asleep.
wahaha.


third, my horribly whiny best friend peishan. yea. the oldest too.

for accompanying me at my booth duty on tuesday.
for whining to me about how much she is deprived of shopping.
for inviting me to go movies next tuesday.
for asking me to come up with some blog entry.

and most importantly, for forgiving me. had to do booth duty on tuesday.
and so i broke my promise to go shop with her around jp for a while during her long close to 3 hour break.

fourth, weisin. ha. most prob wont be reading this i guess.
unless. well. exceptions. which most prob wont happen imo.

yeap. for the wonderful though disastrous dinner.
had a chance to meet up after so long. and yea, had dinner at bukit batok area since i was down there before dinner.
the last time i got to see this friend of mine was like may 29? haha. dont think i've such terrific memory. i had movie ticket stubs. hehe. that was when a group of sec 4 class people watched star wars.

yea dinner was good but disastrous.
ate at bukit batok kopitiam. ok.
this sounds super not high class. but that's not the main point.
hehe. so i happily ordered yong tau foo.
and then. disaster strikes.
as usual. on the clumsy zhien.
i put the bowl on the tray and didnt realise that there was this gap and the whole tray tilted.
the soup spilled. and yea. got myself scalded a little but seriously no big deal.
yet a big embarrassment.
that's what happens. i never fail to have my seriously dumb embarrassing moments in front of my friends.

after dinner we went to mac to sit down and chit chat.
got treated to the all-time favourite ice lemon tea.
talked for more than an hour or so. hmm.
i wonder how time flies. haha.

yea. so that was how my tuesday night went.
dinner then head back to hall to study for quiz.
wah haha.

also, michael too. who also most probably wont be reading this.

for the short and simple yet wonderful sms.
haha. we made it a point to sms each other once in a while out of no reason.
yes, this sounds totally dumb.
but yea. we sms each other to cheer each other up.
simple things like. "good night". "stay happy".

that made my sunday night great too. cos i was so bored at the meeting.
haha. and yea. i guess he sure will be very happy this week.
cos rui-en's show is on tv. haha.

man. our sec 4 class should seriously meet up for a huge gathering.
then we can have all the fun in the world.
if that's even possible to achieve.

next, eric. a super nice wonderful hall mate.

if not for chiew wouldnt get to know this great friend.
the fridge in his room is what that provides us with chilled drinks after our jogs.
although i seldom go jogging.
haha. but yea. i get the treat when i do go.

and tuesday morn. he was so nice to make the 3 of us breakfast.
man. the first time i ever made myself eat tuna.
so it isnt that horrid-tasting afterall.
i felt that i had to since he put in the effort to make us a terrific meal.
the first time in 2 months of hall life do i have such a full breakfast.
had tuna sandwich, a hard-boiled egg. and he gave apples too. but i've yet to eat them. haha.
cant really gorge down everything at one go.
but yea, it was a treat. hehe.

so those are the people that made my week more special i guess.
indeed a tough week.

had project meeting on monday for sthg due next week.
continued with the project meeting this morning before lunch and still have yet to manage to get things done.
so now i hope that i will settle it once and for all soon enough.
it's a major headache.

had quiz today.
i think the true false part is some horrid stuff.
eeks. but well. it's over.
i'm still very happy about my A for one of the hw assignment.
haha. finally i see sthg more than B+. haha.
*gleams* i'm so proud.

tutored today.
and then on my way back to hall.
disaster struck again.
damn.
i tripped while walking up some steps and luckily i was in jeans.
the scratch could have been bad.
had dinner with linda in hall canteen again.
on the way back to the room, again, i tripped. woohoo. zhien is like how idiotic.
damn it. and now a part of my left arm still hurts cos i knocked against the railings of the stairs while stopping myself from falling. sigh.

went for a jog with linda and chiew lin just now. eric came along too but then he was too fast for us to pace. he just went ahead and yea. haha. waited at our block. i got my yakult drink treat!

just finished a small portion of second project that's due next week.

i've got 2 written reports due next week.
and i've got 2 presentations to do next week.
and i've got tutorials to settle next week.
but who doesnt.
well. i'm gonna have to put in lots of effort to get things done!

end of my boring entry.
yea. i finished my thank-you speech and summary of what hap the past few days.
a super long entry.

out of here for now.
ps. thanks to you. haha. i'm keying in an entry!

the keys to my heart?!

ying got me to do this. sounds like sthg i've done before. but well the answers might have changed with time. so here goes.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

restrain

years back.
i guess i was just like that.
yelling and screaming. at the top of my voice.
slamming and throwing. whatever gets in my path.

years back.
i would have slapped her across the face when i see that.
i would have hurled abuse at her for that tantrum.

right now.
i am holding back.
deep inside. i'm freaking irritated.
i'm really feeling crappy.

i shouted at her.
no verbal abuses though.
i felt like slapping her to wake her from her craze.
i felt like whacking her just to make her shut up.
but i didnt.

i dont know what i can do.
helpless.
what else can i ever do?
i have never been able to do anything about such stuff.

now, i am the crybaby.
i cant do anything.
except to let tears run.
what can i do?
to make the wrong right?
to make the fight peaceful?

zhien is useless, isnt she?

one school week

one school week passed for me.
yet another week.
one more week closer to exams.
and i have yet to start studying. how crap.
and still i expect a busy week ahead next week.
so i gonna wont have enough time to start.
sigh.

these week has been a really busy one for me.
yet i feel like i've been slack.
seriously i dont think i've accomplished much.
cos there's a load of crap that totally waste my time.
and yea. i try to get as much rest time as i can.
havent got down to starting tutorials yet.
i should be.
cos the weekend will be left for project stuff.
i think it's high time i get things started.

i havent done much exercise this week.
so i feel like i am so lazy.
useless right?
sigh.
pack my time until i really need some breathing space.
but. argh. goodness.
never mind. shall see how it goes.
as long as everything goes as planned. it should all be fine.

it is a boring week for me.
look forward to more interesting stuff next week.
maybe shall go out and meet people for dinner.
hehe. can get sick of canteen food at this rate.
haha.

monday blues

today.
hmmm. started off with test lor.
and i am totally screwed for it.
my balance sheet doesnt balance.
haha. what does that means? i am wrong la.
but well. sigh.
basically the conclusion is. i am dead.
wahahaha. living corpse talking. *lame*

finally got down to settling the written report for stats.
so yea. finally i am done with it.
finished it within one hour after i got back from the test.

then after that had project discussion.
came back to hall.
and yea. dinner.
linda came back to hostel earlier so we went cant 2 for dinner together.

after dinner decided to try the ice-cream and eat while walking back.
it ended up being a total disaster.
somehow, the ice-cream melted at a super amazing speed.
ended up having our hands covered with melted ice-cream.
super gross.
but yea. we laughed all the way back.
really fun. but sadly, unlucky on our part.

haha.
now gonna have to start doing my tutorials.
gonna be a busy week ahead.

happy children's day

haha.
happy children's day to the child in me.
and to the child in everyone else.

man. looking back.
it's 7 years since i last celebrated children's day in school.
how time flies.
haha.
old liao. alamak!
remember those times.

singing the children's day song.
sama sama mejukehadapan... (should be correct la.)
haha. but yea. it's a song that somehow i can stumble over words.
yet remember the tunes.

getting sharity elephant cards or what-so-ever.
then encouraging ourselves to save just to make a $1 donation on our own.

getting lots of sweets and goodies from our teachers.
just looking at the smiles of my tuition students when they get stuff from me.
it reminds me of when i was that young. really adored those gifts.
although they might have been really little things.
but well. it's the little things that matters.

having half-day of school celebrating.
lower primary was sports day.
upper primary was concert performance.
a total waste of time to go to school. if you really think of it.
but we'll all still go down. no such thing as "pon".

all the little child-like innocence.
all the happy smiles.
all the wonderful things about children's day.

the child in me.
bet it's enjoying itself today.

inefficiency

hmmm.
getting more and more inefficient.
just wasted most of my time today.
despite knowing my really tight schedule. i gave myself time to slack off.
sigh. havent completed much.

woke up and slack around.
for the whole day i didnt even manage to complete one tutorial.

look at the horrible timing i am blogging at now.
just got back from a 7-hour long meeting.
totally worn out.
barely concentrating at the last 2 hours.
well. things are getting busier.
all the more i need to make good use of my time.

argh.
man. i need to plan.
zhien. stop getting so rotten. haha.