damn. my comp suddenly disconnected itself from the internet. already completed this post. and yet cant publish it. now i have to retype this whole darn thing.
woke up feeling a litte confused. thought it was wednesday. but well. it's tuesday afterall. maybe cos i slept too much. confused already. slept at 4 am last night. woke up at 2 pm today. now very blur and drowsy. it's just like dreaming in the broad daylight. seems as if i dont ever want to wake up from my deep slumber. somehow.
another week has past. sis is coming back soon i guess. i havent got down to planning for her b'day celebrations. sry girl. i need to do university and scholarship applications for now. but it's just like i am so lazy to do anything. woke up so late today when i am supposed to walk to the library and then photocopy those documents. still need to get back to school one day to get those copies certified true copy. gosh. i havent done much. now only scanning those documents into the comp so that i can use them for online applications. i am lazy. not doing much. somehow i hate to move on. school is now a chore.
i somehow think i am worn out. maybe cos i am thinking so much. without myself realising about it. i am thinking so much that i dont even want to think that i am thinking. (does this make can sense to anyone? maybe not. i am talking rubbish again.) really. i dont know. i feel tired. i feel like i dont ever want to do anything anymore. drained. not going to want to move on anymore. can i just turn back time? or can i just stop here where it is?
planning for class outing today. and i am like pulling my hair off my scalp already. so hard to get things settled. some havent reply to me and the gathering is going to be on tomorrow. goodness. the only thing i can think of is dinner first. the rest shall come in later. zirong suggested kbox. no pool as mentioned by linda. now i've got to think. what can be done?
oh and if i havent mentioned. my tuition student actually commented that my A levels grades are lousy. goodness. argh. slap slap. he always comments. ya. i am not pretty. he'll say. that doesnt bother me. now he tells me. 4As is not good enough grade. i gonna smack him. funny child. so idiotic. haha. next time he better get that kind of grades plus GP A1 or he's more stupid than me. argh. what a child.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Monday, March 07, 2005
shopping
went shopping with ps today. went bugis. so long since i really shopped at bugis. haha. gosh. started off kind of bad bad bad. cos i bought one stick of that yakitori stick and that horrid bag was dripping soya sauce without me realising. damn. then the m)phosis bag that i used got smeared with that digusting soya sauce. now my organiser is destroyed. sob sob. the whole book got disfigured by those brown patches. eeks. i'm going to say bb to it soon. will have to change one or else i cant use. argh. yakitori. i'll ban it for as long as i can. goodness. sry sis. about your bag. i'll wash it. stinko for now. but not for long.
then went to lunch at hawker. not bad. at least we saved up on that. then went shopping around bugis village. tried on denim skirts. kind of like the in-thing these days. so i just tried on one. ok. not nice. cos i fat. eee. haha. so didnt buy la. end up didnt really get much. then went giordano tried on some tops. went around parco. end up buying a skirt from s&k and a top from giordano. eeks. 51 bucks spent in total. just within hours of shopping. i need to save up these days le. stress. ee. i need to make sure i have enough to last to pay bills and for the next few weeks. it's only the start of the month! and i've spent way over 100 bucks. argh. ok still i treated myself to pure choc ice blended from coffee bean. omg. addiction. haha.
after that went to sim lim with ps. she got herself a mp3 player. wot. one thing off her wishlist. hehe. then i treated her to mocha ice blended from coffee bean. left her to indulge in the coffee treat while i went back home. then usual. tutor. now online. it's just yet another day. haha. i need to diet now. i need to save up now. i need to do uni apps now. stress. haha. but i'll get it through. i have to. :)
then went to lunch at hawker. not bad. at least we saved up on that. then went shopping around bugis village. tried on denim skirts. kind of like the in-thing these days. so i just tried on one. ok. not nice. cos i fat. eee. haha. so didnt buy la. end up didnt really get much. then went giordano tried on some tops. went around parco. end up buying a skirt from s&k and a top from giordano. eeks. 51 bucks spent in total. just within hours of shopping. i need to save up these days le. stress. ee. i need to make sure i have enough to last to pay bills and for the next few weeks. it's only the start of the month! and i've spent way over 100 bucks. argh. ok still i treated myself to pure choc ice blended from coffee bean. omg. addiction. haha.
after that went to sim lim with ps. she got herself a mp3 player. wot. one thing off her wishlist. hehe. then i treated her to mocha ice blended from coffee bean. left her to indulge in the coffee treat while i went back home. then usual. tutor. now online. it's just yet another day. haha. i need to diet now. i need to save up now. i need to do uni apps now. stress. haha. but i'll get it through. i have to. :)
Sunday, March 06, 2005
no cinderalla
lol. nothing much today. worked. slept late.
yesterday went on outing with gb guild. haha. sounds crazy. but well. we went out. steamboat at marina. and i totally got freaked out by those live prawns and crabs. haha. crazy night. ate 7 prawns. damn. i'm going to be sick of them soon. after that went bowling. most of the time in the drain. 6 times in a row. madness. total waste of money. haha. spent so much la. after that went all the way to cineleisure. those people wanted to catch a movie like until 2 am. haha. called my mum and was given a flat no. haha. so i pang seh them and went back home at around 11 plus. got home only after 12. goodness. out till so late. then went home just slept. so tired. eeks. but well. enjoyable. not as awkward as i thought it would be. :)
yesterday went on outing with gb guild. haha. sounds crazy. but well. we went out. steamboat at marina. and i totally got freaked out by those live prawns and crabs. haha. crazy night. ate 7 prawns. damn. i'm going to be sick of them soon. after that went bowling. most of the time in the drain. 6 times in a row. madness. total waste of money. haha. spent so much la. after that went all the way to cineleisure. those people wanted to catch a movie like until 2 am. haha. called my mum and was given a flat no. haha. so i pang seh them and went back home at around 11 plus. got home only after 12. goodness. out till so late. then went home just slept. so tired. eeks. but well. enjoyable. not as awkward as i thought it would be. :)
Saturday, March 05, 2005
the moment
kind of blogging this late in the middle of the night. hehe. yap. got back results. yesterday i should say. since it's already the am of the 5th.
early in the morn went to run pay respects to my dad. 4th year since he's gone. my uncle fetched me to the place and i had to place those things all in place. was really blur but still got it done. mum's working. sis's schooling and away. left me alone to settle. well. learning. miss him of course. years passed but it just still feels awkward without him around. i would really brim with joy if he could share the good news that i can bring to him with my results. really. i want him to be proud of me. i hope i did him proud. but that's something i can nvr be totally sure about.
after that got home changed and took the train all the way to bishan. met the class for lunch. yep. before that spent money on gb prepaid card so now i am a power user. hmm. most might not understand what this is. but nvr mind. i splurge. but well. i guess i need to pamper myself sometimes. : ] yap. nice to meet the people again after so long. those guys that went ns. with new hairstyle. if that's considered some "hair" style. haha. very bad me. anyway. they all look so tan and ya. good. everyone looks good. healthy and fine. after lunch, strolled all the way to school. long walk. the difference between the old and the new. if it's old campus, we would be lunching at ghim moh hawker instead of fast food restaurant at j8. if it's old campus, the walk wouldnt be as long from where we lunch to the main gate. one thing same is. both old and new campus rock and they are still my school. haha. lame. ok. crap. basically wasted time there looking around then rot in the canteen commenting on how price have inflated since the move. the drinks increasing by 10 cents and the food increasing by more than 100%. hmm. then after that talk and talk. wait and wait. got guitar from hannah and will have to try and learn the song so that can perform under alumni for concert in may or sthg. hmm. so long since i touched the guitar. i hope i wont be "cmi". after that went to the hall. blur me actually left my hp in the canteen and had to walk all the way from the hall to the canteen to get it back again. so stupid la. old campus the hall was just above the canteen. now the hall is like two entire blocks away from the canteen. hmmm. walk until leg pain. should have wore track shoes. then can run and dont need leg pain.
then went into hall. got a call from dont know who. most probably sis from overseas. in the hall cant hear clearly. i was like. "hello i cant hear you clearly!" "hello!" "hello!" then hear some distorted sounds. then saying about "results" then. blur. haha. weird conversation that i practically cant hear a thing. then in the end we all finally got seated and the principal gave a overall view of how the cohort performed. 8 out of 12 subjects showed improvement from last year. 100% pass in GP. damn happy. GP is my nightmare. haha. i am so glad. relieved. relieved. then after that queued up to get results. waited waited waited. my register number so back. i was so nervous that i almost wanted to cry. saw so many people in my class with 4As and super good grades. then i was like shyt. so large number. scared sia. i might end up the smaller percentage group with bad grades. well. finally my turn. saw the results. i was so happy! goodness. sry. not to really dampen the mood of some others. but i really am happy with my grades. i was like thank goodness. i am glad very glad. thanks jiaying, thanks flor, thanks shiyin. for the hug before i got my results just to bring me comfort. to make me feel less tense. after that i called mum and i was like screaming "ma! i've got ______________". my junior was just around. then i was like talking to my mum and at the same time showing my results slip to my junior. got congratulated. hehe. i am happy. yap. i was. very. then my friend commented about me screaming into the phone about my results. i also laughed at my own behaviour. ultimate high. ya. we lingered around the hall. trying to make sure we werent dreaming. then slowly walked out of hall. end up waiting at some part of the school for ex-ct to come or sthg. then ya. boring wait. pointless to mention. total waste of time then. haha. but i saw my name on the board. the list for students with 3 & 4 A level distinctions. hehe. i was so happy la. i actually got a place there.
after that the class went for dinner at j8 again. ate pizza. groans. eating a lot. haha. then after lunch we went to watch hitch. damn hilarious. just sat there and laughed and zhi xuan was trying to remember one quote in the show. spoiler alert here. it's not just about the number of breaths you take, but it's about the moments that take your breath away. hehe. ya. so funny. he kept trying to remember those words. lol. hitch is nice. really. good for relaxation. really. some really sweet parts. but ultimately for laughs. can just go enjoy if you realise that you havent really allowed yourself to laugh out loud for some time. :)
after that lugged the guitar home and back home i go with results in my hands. i am happy. relieved. glad. now it's time to think again. what course to take. what route to choose. another thing that i will procrastinate for now. i need sleep. :)
early in the morn went to run pay respects to my dad. 4th year since he's gone. my uncle fetched me to the place and i had to place those things all in place. was really blur but still got it done. mum's working. sis's schooling and away. left me alone to settle. well. learning. miss him of course. years passed but it just still feels awkward without him around. i would really brim with joy if he could share the good news that i can bring to him with my results. really. i want him to be proud of me. i hope i did him proud. but that's something i can nvr be totally sure about.
after that got home changed and took the train all the way to bishan. met the class for lunch. yep. before that spent money on gb prepaid card so now i am a power user. hmm. most might not understand what this is. but nvr mind. i splurge. but well. i guess i need to pamper myself sometimes. : ] yap. nice to meet the people again after so long. those guys that went ns. with new hairstyle. if that's considered some "hair" style. haha. very bad me. anyway. they all look so tan and ya. good. everyone looks good. healthy and fine. after lunch, strolled all the way to school. long walk. the difference between the old and the new. if it's old campus, we would be lunching at ghim moh hawker instead of fast food restaurant at j8. if it's old campus, the walk wouldnt be as long from where we lunch to the main gate. one thing same is. both old and new campus rock and they are still my school. haha. lame. ok. crap. basically wasted time there looking around then rot in the canteen commenting on how price have inflated since the move. the drinks increasing by 10 cents and the food increasing by more than 100%. hmm. then after that talk and talk. wait and wait. got guitar from hannah and will have to try and learn the song so that can perform under alumni for concert in may or sthg. hmm. so long since i touched the guitar. i hope i wont be "cmi". after that went to the hall. blur me actually left my hp in the canteen and had to walk all the way from the hall to the canteen to get it back again. so stupid la. old campus the hall was just above the canteen. now the hall is like two entire blocks away from the canteen. hmmm. walk until leg pain. should have wore track shoes. then can run and dont need leg pain.
then went into hall. got a call from dont know who. most probably sis from overseas. in the hall cant hear clearly. i was like. "hello i cant hear you clearly!" "hello!" "hello!" then hear some distorted sounds. then saying about "results" then. blur. haha. weird conversation that i practically cant hear a thing. then in the end we all finally got seated and the principal gave a overall view of how the cohort performed. 8 out of 12 subjects showed improvement from last year. 100% pass in GP. damn happy. GP is my nightmare. haha. i am so glad. relieved. relieved. then after that queued up to get results. waited waited waited. my register number so back. i was so nervous that i almost wanted to cry. saw so many people in my class with 4As and super good grades. then i was like shyt. so large number. scared sia. i might end up the smaller percentage group with bad grades. well. finally my turn. saw the results. i was so happy! goodness. sry. not to really dampen the mood of some others. but i really am happy with my grades. i was like thank goodness. i am glad very glad. thanks jiaying, thanks flor, thanks shiyin. for the hug before i got my results just to bring me comfort. to make me feel less tense. after that i called mum and i was like screaming "ma! i've got ______________". my junior was just around. then i was like talking to my mum and at the same time showing my results slip to my junior. got congratulated. hehe. i am happy. yap. i was. very. then my friend commented about me screaming into the phone about my results. i also laughed at my own behaviour. ultimate high. ya. we lingered around the hall. trying to make sure we werent dreaming. then slowly walked out of hall. end up waiting at some part of the school for ex-ct to come or sthg. then ya. boring wait. pointless to mention. total waste of time then. haha. but i saw my name on the board. the list for students with 3 & 4 A level distinctions. hehe. i was so happy la. i actually got a place there.
after that the class went for dinner at j8 again. ate pizza. groans. eating a lot. haha. then after lunch we went to watch hitch. damn hilarious. just sat there and laughed and zhi xuan was trying to remember one quote in the show. spoiler alert here. it's not just about the number of breaths you take, but it's about the moments that take your breath away. hehe. ya. so funny. he kept trying to remember those words. lol. hitch is nice. really. good for relaxation. really. some really sweet parts. but ultimately for laughs. can just go enjoy if you realise that you havent really allowed yourself to laugh out loud for some time. :)
after that lugged the guitar home and back home i go with results in my hands. i am happy. relieved. glad. now it's time to think again. what course to take. what route to choose. another thing that i will procrastinate for now. i need sleep. :)
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
d day
finally. haha. dont know i should be happy or sad. friday 4th march. the day of the release of the a levels results. confirmed by the moe official press release.
now i've got to pray hard. everyone is telling me that it'll be just fine. i certainly hope so. 2.30pm. wait. for good news. i can only hope and pray. yes. i harbour hope. haha. indeed. i ought to be positive. why shouldnt i? i need lots and lots of good luck. survived so far and so i should. i want to do well. very much want to. can i be top student? haha. that's dreaming. i have never been one. i would gladly be crowned that. but well. i aim high. it's just aiming. haha. here comes. friday. i gonna love it or hate it. i wonder. we shall see.
now i've got to pray hard. everyone is telling me that it'll be just fine. i certainly hope so. 2.30pm. wait. for good news. i can only hope and pray. yes. i harbour hope. haha. indeed. i ought to be positive. why shouldnt i? i need lots and lots of good luck. survived so far and so i should. i want to do well. very much want to. can i be top student? haha. that's dreaming. i have never been one. i would gladly be crowned that. but well. i aim high. it's just aiming. haha. here comes. friday. i gonna love it or hate it. i wonder. we shall see.
back to normal
i start to think i am getting back on my feet. faster than i realised. no longer feel that upset by that fall. i have grown very much stronger in the heart now. now i realised. of course i get hurt but i climb back up so soon. it's good. i am glad. very glad. it has been a nightmare. now i am happy that it's all over.
anyway. today is good day. went out with flor, sarah, taitik and zhixuan to watch howl's moving castle. really nice anime. personal opinion maybe. simply cos i like anime. but like spirited away. i dont mind watching it again and again. i love the way the story went. rather good pace. not really slow and not really much confusion. watch it with a child-like heart. dont think so much into the plot. and it'll be so much more enjoyable. really. i love anime. simply cos they potray the dream-like images that anyone will yearn for in life. i felt way better. back to my much loved anime. i am happy the way things are now.
thanks for your concern, ps. really appreciate that. but some things i dont know how to say and i rather keep it to myself. not that i dont trust you enough to let you know but i just dont know how to express myself and saying it might make me sink deeper feeling more dumb and whatever it may seem. i'm ok now. fast right? told you i will be and i am really ok. gone is the horrid nightmare. really. thank you. for being such a really nice friend. you are always there and i am thankful.
anyway. today is good day. went out with flor, sarah, taitik and zhixuan to watch howl's moving castle. really nice anime. personal opinion maybe. simply cos i like anime. but like spirited away. i dont mind watching it again and again. i love the way the story went. rather good pace. not really slow and not really much confusion. watch it with a child-like heart. dont think so much into the plot. and it'll be so much more enjoyable. really. i love anime. simply cos they potray the dream-like images that anyone will yearn for in life. i felt way better. back to my much loved anime. i am happy the way things are now.
thanks for your concern, ps. really appreciate that. but some things i dont know how to say and i rather keep it to myself. not that i dont trust you enough to let you know but i just dont know how to express myself and saying it might make me sink deeper feeling more dumb and whatever it may seem. i'm ok now. fast right? told you i will be and i am really ok. gone is the horrid nightmare. really. thank you. for being such a really nice friend. you are always there and i am thankful.
song
a song that i find nice and really appropriate.
保持微笑 by she
又一个朋友被伤了心 她哽咽着问我 哪里才有爱情
心疼地把她搂在怀里 说不哭不哭我却先红了眼睛
失恋在这城市里到处横行 天使又一再失约从来没降临
让我们保持微笑 给寂寞的人一些倚靠
我们要保持微笑 给孤单的人一种心情的拥抱
又一个朋友计划远行 他剪短了头发说要遗忘过去
听着他故作洒脱语气 我知道他去的地方叫做逃避
失恋在这城市里到处横行 天使又一再失约从来没降临
让我们保持微笑 给寂寞的人一些倚靠
我们要保持微笑 给孤单的人一种心情的拥抱
让我们保持微笑 给寂寞的人一些倚靠
我们要保持微笑 给孤单的人一种心情的拥抱
保持微笑 by she
又一个朋友被伤了心 她哽咽着问我 哪里才有爱情
心疼地把她搂在怀里 说不哭不哭我却先红了眼睛
失恋在这城市里到处横行 天使又一再失约从来没降临
让我们保持微笑 给寂寞的人一些倚靠
我们要保持微笑 给孤单的人一种心情的拥抱
又一个朋友计划远行 他剪短了头发说要遗忘过去
听着他故作洒脱语气 我知道他去的地方叫做逃避
失恋在这城市里到处横行 天使又一再失约从来没降临
让我们保持微笑 给寂寞的人一些倚靠
我们要保持微笑 给孤单的人一种心情的拥抱
让我们保持微笑 给寂寞的人一些倚靠
我们要保持微笑 给孤单的人一种心情的拥抱
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