last day of march. another month pass. slowly counting. halfway through my long long break. still another half to go.
another simple day. or rather too simple.
didnt really get a good sleep. somehow, couldnt get to fall asleep the night before. took me so long to get to sleep. was lying on the bed for more than one hour and yet i cant sleep. finished listening to the whole of cd2 from jay chou's concert live cd and still couldnt sleep. so ya. i ended falling asleep only until very late. 4 plus.
woke up. ran errands for my mum. then came back. well. life's now so simple for me. it's either face the wall or face the ceiling. no one else is at home except for me most of the time of the day. so ya. i listen to the jay chou's cd again. cd1 then cd2. indulge in very very relaxing stuff. read a little. after that tutor. got home. slack again. listen to songs again. weird right? i just bought the cd yesterday and i have already listened to it so many times. even as i am typing here. i am playing the 2 discs on the player. addiction or indulgence or simply pure boredom. beats me.
went to macs and ate dinner alone. very sad life. sigh. even dinner also face the wall at macs and eat alone. goodness. very full. next time cannot order evm. too much already. now back at home again. going to be a simple night and time will pass. soon it will. and another simple day repeats itself.
good news is nus received my documents already. bad news is i dont know what's happening over ntu's side.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
probability
ok. prev entry mentioned sthg about my trip to singpost today. so now i have to play on my luck. yet it seems like i am kind of down on my luck today.
well. on my way back from the post office, was walking when suddenly i turned to my right and the next thing was i saw this leaf dropping down. and i tried to move and still it end up whacking me right on the face. goodness. the probability of that happening is like 1/1000000 la. yet. i am that unlucky one. grrrh. was a little discouraging. cos the person at the post office told me. 98% chance that the mail that i send out as back-up will reach by the next day. means. probability of getting it unsent out on time is like 2/100 and guess what the probability is lots of time greater than that of the leaf hitting on me. argh. i sound mathematical and yes it is. i am going mad lor. this is so damn dampening.
after that rested and then got ready for tuition. reached amk earlier so i went to popular to buy things. unlucky sia. the person serving so slow. end up i have like just enough time to walk to my tuition place and reach on time. then. when i got out of popular. the place was raining. gosh. i didnt wear those sports sandals la. was wearing those feminine kind and then it was super slippery. and end up i was dragging my shoe as i walk. looked so damn silly. and then i walked and walked. look at the time. gosh. getting late. so tried to walk faster. and just simply along one straight path, my right leg slipped out of the shoe and was like behind me la. then have to hop back wear that darn shoe then hurry walk and walk. pissing off leh. super unlucky.
after that suddenly flu bug decides to play some trick on me and i started to have runny nose. sian. i hate it lor. last week during tuition already like that. today also. very sadded leh. then for dinner bought mos burger. i went up to popular cos i remembered that i forgot to get things. and then again. i cant remember what that was. ok. so i ended going to the next tuition a bit later. i usually go between 5.30 and 6. today reach at 6 on the dot. meaning i will end late.
that only comfort for today. i bought jay chou's concert cd after whining to long for it. i decided that i have enough pay to get sthg to pamper myself. enjoying it very much. he's indeed a talented singer. of course got some encouragement from a friend to join the singing competition. most prob i will go. ya. so i felt much better after that. easily satisfied maybe and maybe cos i trying hard to not stress myself. after all i can only leave things into fate's hands about my university stuff. i tried to do what i can. i can only comfort myself with that. well. life still goes on. april's coming. time passes really fast. slowly picking myself up nicely.
well. on my way back from the post office, was walking when suddenly i turned to my right and the next thing was i saw this leaf dropping down. and i tried to move and still it end up whacking me right on the face. goodness. the probability of that happening is like 1/1000000 la. yet. i am that unlucky one. grrrh. was a little discouraging. cos the person at the post office told me. 98% chance that the mail that i send out as back-up will reach by the next day. means. probability of getting it unsent out on time is like 2/100 and guess what the probability is lots of time greater than that of the leaf hitting on me. argh. i sound mathematical and yes it is. i am going mad lor. this is so damn dampening.
after that rested and then got ready for tuition. reached amk earlier so i went to popular to buy things. unlucky sia. the person serving so slow. end up i have like just enough time to walk to my tuition place and reach on time. then. when i got out of popular. the place was raining. gosh. i didnt wear those sports sandals la. was wearing those feminine kind and then it was super slippery. and end up i was dragging my shoe as i walk. looked so damn silly. and then i walked and walked. look at the time. gosh. getting late. so tried to walk faster. and just simply along one straight path, my right leg slipped out of the shoe and was like behind me la. then have to hop back wear that darn shoe then hurry walk and walk. pissing off leh. super unlucky.
after that suddenly flu bug decides to play some trick on me and i started to have runny nose. sian. i hate it lor. last week during tuition already like that. today also. very sadded leh. then for dinner bought mos burger. i went up to popular cos i remembered that i forgot to get things. and then again. i cant remember what that was. ok. so i ended going to the next tuition a bit later. i usually go between 5.30 and 6. today reach at 6 on the dot. meaning i will end late.
that only comfort for today. i bought jay chou's concert cd after whining to long for it. i decided that i have enough pay to get sthg to pamper myself. enjoying it very much. he's indeed a talented singer. of course got some encouragement from a friend to join the singing competition. most prob i will go. ya. so i felt much better after that. easily satisfied maybe and maybe cos i trying hard to not stress myself. after all i can only leave things into fate's hands about my university stuff. i tried to do what i can. i can only comfort myself with that. well. life still goes on. april's coming. time passes really fast. slowly picking myself up nicely.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
hikaru no go
that's the title of the anime that i am using as a blog template for my blog at the time being. this is one of my creation. a little bleh. not that fantastically nice one. the mickey one is nicer i think. will put that back once my anime ends. this is like commerating it's last ep that's coming up in 10 days maybe? so this will be up for around 10 days and i'll use back my mickey one. ya. this is one nice anime. although erm the way i created this blog template doesnt make it look extremely appealing. it's now showing on scv. and i am hooked on it. so ya. one way to express my craze for it.
anyway. some updates. yes i am feeling stressed. see my prev entry. argh. ya. so i went to the post office today. they told me that chances are the mail will be sent if they dont really check specifically. sigh. only can play on my luck for now. up to fate to decide for me what's going to happen for my life in uni. sigh. i hate to place a gamble on this. but looks like i dont have a choice but to gamble with my luck and place my bets on sthg that i am not entirely confident of. so i will be super stressed out this period of time. argh. ya. so that's about it. nothing else i can say. nothing else i can do.
later going for tuition. i am feeling really really no mood for anything now. can only hope today goes on fine. that's all. cant think. dont want to think.
anyway. some updates. yes i am feeling stressed. see my prev entry. argh. ya. so i went to the post office today. they told me that chances are the mail will be sent if they dont really check specifically. sigh. only can play on my luck for now. up to fate to decide for me what's going to happen for my life in uni. sigh. i hate to place a gamble on this. but looks like i dont have a choice but to gamble with my luck and place my bets on sthg that i am not entirely confident of. so i will be super stressed out this period of time. argh. ya. so that's about it. nothing else i can say. nothing else i can do.
later going for tuition. i am feeling really really no mood for anything now. can only hope today goes on fine. that's all. cant think. dont want to think.
major screw up
me me me. argh. sudden surge of stress. why am i so blur? why must i be forever so careless.
now i realised. cos of the envelope size that i used. the postage that i put for my mails are so damn screwed now. they arent enough! omg. to think i gave my teachers those envelopes with insufficient postage. omg. i wonder what's going to happen to those teacher's appraisals. argh. i am so darn useless. yes. i am stressed out. right in the middle of the night. tmr morn will have to go down singpost to try and check if that's going to be a problem. if it does i'll most prob faint right in front of that person. argh. how how how? need some magical divine powers. argh. goodness. what have i done?
sigh. this is so dampening. tmr will try to do what i can to salvage the situation. the deadline is coming friday. i dont think i have anymore time to settle the teachers' appraisal. looks like that's a stagnant situation that i cant do anything about anymore. sob sob. sigh. i am stressed. i am worried. i am so angry with myself. how can i be like this? it's simply so dumb. i cant even mail properly. imagine how those people will laugh when they see my application done in a mess. got to resend supporting documents if that postage wont pass through. argh. that's the only thing i can save now. and hope that the mail reaches by 1st april. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i hate myself. goodness. how can i be so stupid. so silly. so blur. of all things to mess up. i mess this up. is fate just playing a fool of me? just when i think i am done settling everything. it just comes to tell me that i've done it all wrong? how early is this april's fool joke?!?!
now i realised. cos of the envelope size that i used. the postage that i put for my mails are so damn screwed now. they arent enough! omg. to think i gave my teachers those envelopes with insufficient postage. omg. i wonder what's going to happen to those teacher's appraisals. argh. i am so darn useless. yes. i am stressed out. right in the middle of the night. tmr morn will have to go down singpost to try and check if that's going to be a problem. if it does i'll most prob faint right in front of that person. argh. how how how? need some magical divine powers. argh. goodness. what have i done?
sigh. this is so dampening. tmr will try to do what i can to salvage the situation. the deadline is coming friday. i dont think i have anymore time to settle the teachers' appraisal. looks like that's a stagnant situation that i cant do anything about anymore. sob sob. sigh. i am stressed. i am worried. i am so angry with myself. how can i be like this? it's simply so dumb. i cant even mail properly. imagine how those people will laugh when they see my application done in a mess. got to resend supporting documents if that postage wont pass through. argh. that's the only thing i can save now. and hope that the mail reaches by 1st april. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i hate myself. goodness. how can i be so stupid. so silly. so blur. of all things to mess up. i mess this up. is fate just playing a fool of me? just when i think i am done settling everything. it just comes to tell me that i've done it all wrong? how early is this april's fool joke?!?!
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
thankful
learning to be thankful this time. i am learning. beginning to feel that it's good that everything is still normal. still the same. indeed, it seems most peaceful that nothing is changing as yet. life's the same for me. everyday passes. i tutor, i slack, i blog, i work, i sleep, i eat. all the same each week.
so today of course passed very normally. nothing bad happened and nothing extremely good happened. today woke up and slacked a little. online. printed scores for practice for guitar alumni prac coming up on sat. listened to music. really relaxing day. waiting for time to pass until it's time to tutor. tutored zc today. seems like he's slacking a little. maybe cos of the fact that i completed his this year's syllabus already. kind of worried about that. cos i feel as if i am being negligent on my part. i want him to do enough work too. dont want to appear just as slack as he is. but tutoring needs both the teacher and student to move at the same pace. sigh. i need to be more strict with him.
went jogging after that in the evening. managed to do 2.4 km despite my determination weavering after 5 rounds. then after that was walking for 2 rounds for cooling down. looked up into the sky and saw quite a handful of stars. that was such a pleasant sight. maybe cos it rained in the day and all the clouds have dispersed such that the stars were visible. how nice. really wonderful. should say i am feeling light at heart. nothing really burdening me at the moment.
only thing that i'm pondering is about the chinese singing competition. dont really know if i should join. cos that means an additional commitment. i dont know if i can easily give up things for an opportunity like that. deadline for application is coming friday. thinking about it properly cos i dont want myself to regret too. any words of advice? feel free to throw me some ideas to help me make up my mind. :)
so today of course passed very normally. nothing bad happened and nothing extremely good happened. today woke up and slacked a little. online. printed scores for practice for guitar alumni prac coming up on sat. listened to music. really relaxing day. waiting for time to pass until it's time to tutor. tutored zc today. seems like he's slacking a little. maybe cos of the fact that i completed his this year's syllabus already. kind of worried about that. cos i feel as if i am being negligent on my part. i want him to do enough work too. dont want to appear just as slack as he is. but tutoring needs both the teacher and student to move at the same pace. sigh. i need to be more strict with him.
went jogging after that in the evening. managed to do 2.4 km despite my determination weavering after 5 rounds. then after that was walking for 2 rounds for cooling down. looked up into the sky and saw quite a handful of stars. that was such a pleasant sight. maybe cos it rained in the day and all the clouds have dispersed such that the stars were visible. how nice. really wonderful. should say i am feeling light at heart. nothing really burdening me at the moment.
only thing that i'm pondering is about the chinese singing competition. dont really know if i should join. cos that means an additional commitment. i dont know if i can easily give up things for an opportunity like that. deadline for application is coming friday. thinking about it properly cos i dont want myself to regret too. any words of advice? feel free to throw me some ideas to help me make up my mind. :)
chew on it
the following is taken from the bible (new international version). 1 corinthians chapter 13. the love chapter. just thought it would be interesting to share. if interested, just read and think of the words. :)
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there is tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and prophecy in part, 10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there is tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and prophecy in part, 10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Monday, March 28, 2005
robotic
yay. finally. movie. haha. some time since i went for movies. maybe for 2 to 3 weeks i guess. cant really remember exactly. around there i suppose. so i went with ps to ps to watch robots today. we were late so kind of missed the starting bit a little. but well. we still manage to catch most of the show. went in the theatre around 20 minutes after the stated show time. thank goodness gv has this habit of showing commercials for around 15 minutes or longer.
robots. a roller coaster ride. robotic. fun. britney. britney yes. haha. wonder how that comes in? watch it yourself. haha. really really fun. i enjoyed myself. seems kiddy to watch it but i loved it. really. full of fun. it's just like sitting there enjoying it. and finding it silly at times but still you smile at the fun and adventure. totally cool. the theatre was really empty when we were watching that time. in the noon time maybe. so it was really cold. haha. too bad i didnt bring my jacket. i simply was freezing cold after the show. haha. but that didnt change the fact that i enjoyed myself. ya. and ps's hair got played with by some little child that was sitting behind us. haha. i didnt realise that until she told me later. haha. lucky we werent watching some horror shows. haha. cos i think the whole theatre can shake when both of us scream. haha. ^.^
ya. so i enjoyed myself today. and i am so happy that i did. after the movie. ps treated me to pasta mania for lunch. so nice of her. and cos of that. i gonna treat her to fondeau the next time. haha. jio me out to get your treat girl. haha. that sounds like some threat. treat or threat? ya. so instead of the usual creamy chicken pasta, i tried al fungi as suggested by ps. nice. and i was telling her nydc sells really nice mushroom pasta. haha. so we'll find a chance to have nydc too. :) we are enjoying ourselves. why not?
after that her friend, yvonne came over. we watch as she had lunch at the food court. chit chat and then after that walked around a bit. went carrefour. seems like the past 2 times i went to ps recently, i will go to carrefour. no exception this time. weird affinity. haha. but well. the last 2 times i went to get mineral water. today i treated myself to chocolate cheesecake. goodness. was so so so so full after that. not going to have dinner already. i am still feeling full. the wonders of having pasta as main course and cheesecake as dessert. so that's my one and only meal for the day. haha. very full one. made my day.
thanks girl. you made my day. at your own territory. haha. but it just occurred to me that we didnt go shop at that nike apparel place that's having sale just before we entered ps while we were rushing to catch the movie. haha. we totally forgot about that after we went pass it.
got home to tutor after that. went to take bus alone back cos ps went with her friend to their workplace. ya. tuition, as usual. but well. today i got my satisfaction. haha. my mcq killed him after all. not really killed la. but he didnt get full marks. haha. so i am happy. and he said those questions gave him a headache. haha. so i am so proud of myself now. haha.
today is a happy day. i am so glad everything turned out nicely. although a little funny rush to get to the cinema. but the movie was good. lunch was good. walking around was good. tutoring was good. ya. so many good things. that deserve some cheerful feelings from me. haha.
robots. a roller coaster ride. robotic. fun. britney. britney yes. haha. wonder how that comes in? watch it yourself. haha. really really fun. i enjoyed myself. seems kiddy to watch it but i loved it. really. full of fun. it's just like sitting there enjoying it. and finding it silly at times but still you smile at the fun and adventure. totally cool. the theatre was really empty when we were watching that time. in the noon time maybe. so it was really cold. haha. too bad i didnt bring my jacket. i simply was freezing cold after the show. haha. but that didnt change the fact that i enjoyed myself. ya. and ps's hair got played with by some little child that was sitting behind us. haha. i didnt realise that until she told me later. haha. lucky we werent watching some horror shows. haha. cos i think the whole theatre can shake when both of us scream. haha. ^.^
ya. so i enjoyed myself today. and i am so happy that i did. after the movie. ps treated me to pasta mania for lunch. so nice of her. and cos of that. i gonna treat her to fondeau the next time. haha. jio me out to get your treat girl. haha. that sounds like some threat. treat or threat? ya. so instead of the usual creamy chicken pasta, i tried al fungi as suggested by ps. nice. and i was telling her nydc sells really nice mushroom pasta. haha. so we'll find a chance to have nydc too. :) we are enjoying ourselves. why not?
after that her friend, yvonne came over. we watch as she had lunch at the food court. chit chat and then after that walked around a bit. went carrefour. seems like the past 2 times i went to ps recently, i will go to carrefour. no exception this time. weird affinity. haha. but well. the last 2 times i went to get mineral water. today i treated myself to chocolate cheesecake. goodness. was so so so so full after that. not going to have dinner already. i am still feeling full. the wonders of having pasta as main course and cheesecake as dessert. so that's my one and only meal for the day. haha. very full one. made my day.
thanks girl. you made my day. at your own territory. haha. but it just occurred to me that we didnt go shop at that nike apparel place that's having sale just before we entered ps while we were rushing to catch the movie. haha. we totally forgot about that after we went pass it.
got home to tutor after that. went to take bus alone back cos ps went with her friend to their workplace. ya. tuition, as usual. but well. today i got my satisfaction. haha. my mcq killed him after all. not really killed la. but he didnt get full marks. haha. so i am happy. and he said those questions gave him a headache. haha. so i am so proud of myself now. haha.
today is a happy day. i am so glad everything turned out nicely. although a little funny rush to get to the cinema. but the movie was good. lunch was good. walking around was good. tutoring was good. ya. so many good things. that deserve some cheerful feelings from me. haha.
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